Singtel blog competition, dated 10 March 2004



Recently a lot of things have been pissing me off. I need to complain. So here goes.



I hate the rain. It has been raining for the past 11 years or so. Non-stop. My jeans are soaked, my clothes are soaked, and I have to get onto the bus which subsequently freezed the little water droplets on me to become ice. When I get frozen (and a little blue even) and I can't move, the bus driver goes "eh, eh, never pay money ah?!" and I feel like slapping him, except I can't, because I am all brittle and frozen remember? Can't he see that I am frozen?! DUH??!



Just coz he is dry and cozy in his bus doesn't mean that I am too ok?! DUH?!



When I manage to get my hardened limbs onto a seat, I start to think I am very lucky because afterall I am not in Pakistan having female circumcision. BUT I AM WRONG! BOY AM I WRONG!



I am haunted by stupid animations on TV Mobile!!!



Apparently the amateur animations done by the NYP students are being boardcast OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And again. And again. Its okie if it looks like it is done by baboons. Afterall they are just students (as if thats even a valid excuse).



But WHY? Why must they use stupid themes for their animations??!



For example, I saw this one which has this little girl sitting on a swing. She carries a brown teddy bear, and looks all rainbows and cotton candy. I expected pink bunny slippers but I suppose thats difficult to animate. I mean, should the ears flow with the swing, or against? Tough.



So anyway, this little girl's swinging happily, and suddenly, a giant hand whips out of nowhere. The music is so sucky that I fell asleep at this point of time, so I shall just bullshit that I saw what happens next.



The giant hand turned from a giant hand to a gay blue amoeba and called itself Qoo. It has a little phallic blue thing on its head as well, wonder what it is used for. Qoo started to push the little girl on the swing.. The little girl giggled happily.



Qoo smiled. Qoo smiled MORE. He started to get violent and push the girl so hard that her back broke. Qoo laughed wickedly and suddenly (from this point I woke up so the following is true) the little girl is missing and (make a wild guess!) the swing was left swinging alone with the fluffy teddy bear, looking rather forlorn.



I was thinking what this crap could be about... Could it be.. Selling swings which makes irritating kids disappear? That would be good.. Or teddy bears who eat up children and hallucinate that giant hands did it?



Well, the text came up at this point of time:



- STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE -



DUH. Seriously. Whats the point?!!!



When the students came up with such a dumb theme, did they think:

"Oh.. I think I shall ask people to stop child sexual abuse. Perverts who molest their kids would go on the bus, see my animation, and decide that it is wrong to molest children, because oh look..! they will lose their childhood innocence and not play with swings anymore!"

Duh. If child rapists would stop raping, it is definitely not because they saw a sucky animation. These people are CRAZY (referring to the rapists). If logic and reason could get into them, surely they would not have started child sexual abuse.



If the producers were thinking that through the animation maybe a little sympathy could seep into the rapists' hearts, then surely the child's screams and blood would have done that long ago.



Alright then here is my lame attempt to stop child sexual abuse too:



To all the rapists and molesters out there, do you know you are traumatizing the kids and making them scarred for the rest of their miserable lives so can you please stop it.



There. Done.



I saw another animation of car etiquette. While it is pretty entertaining, it is nothing original. I saw another version of it done by someone else before. Doh.



Oh I got to get back to work, dammit. Gotta write up an article on why Disney On Ice is the best family entertainment ever. Will blog more tonight...



One last time. I discovered another thing that pisses me off. When I tell people I work for TODAY, guess whats their reply?!



"I work for yesterday."



Yeah right, I get that f*cking answer fifty times a day, can't you come up with something even more cliched?! Eh? Eh?!

Singtel blog competition entry, dated 4 March 2004



Bah humbug!!! (don't you think bah humbug sounds damn funny??!)



I was at the main dreamd8 website just now, and I was greeted with a nice picture of MisirLou urging people to read her blog and a nice quote.



Wow chio sia, I thought. I would definitely have clicked on her. I want my picture up there too!



Later on, I went back to the site and saw BEN LOY! Which is quikquiksilver la. "Yikes monster!" I thought to myself, and then I realise its him and of course, friends shouldn't judge each other's ugly looks.



Ok I'm kidding. If you ask me, Ben's really quite cute. His features are nice, except for a little of the buckteeth which is quite adorable actually, unless you end up kissing that kangkong stuck there for 3 weeks. I was too polite to tell him.



I don't see why stupid Ben always has to say he is not cute. Which is like coming true, because his UGLIEST photo EVER wait let me make that word bold and big EVER is shown to the whole wide world (my world revolves around my life so yeah) BECAUSE the nutcase chose it amongst other putlizer-award-winning ones like the one he has on his blog currently!! (I did the cropping, and I think its really artistic. If you don't see it you are one of those people who are just not *snap finger and screw up face*)



Trust me, he is really quite cute. AND he has a sense of humour, which many many people lack. Those are sad sad people, I tell you. Ben possesses the ability to laugh at himself, a rare gift.



Maybe I am fooled. Maybe when he says stuff like, "I may not have the looks (and he snorts, as if he believes it), but I make do with it.", he is merely trying to get you to say that "no la... you quite cute what...".



That will surely make his day. I can imagine him saying, "Excuse me." in a straight face and then going to the toilet and go "Yes, yes yes! She said I am cute!" while punching his fist in the air until some uncle comes out of the cubicle and say he siao.



Shit. Why the digressing.



Back to the point of Singtel being a big cheatabug.



See MisirLou + Then see ben = Misirlou become Ben. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!!!! EERIE THOUGHT!!! MISIRLOUISH BEN!!!! BENNISH MISIRLOU Hell NOOooooo!



oh. Actually not la. Coz the thing changes with eveyr refresh, right?



So very naturally, I refreshed it to see if its me next man!!!



WTF. Erised. F5. Erised. F5 Erised. F5 MisirLou. F5. Monster. F5. Monster. hey its Ben actually. F5 Erised. F5. Zonda. F5 Zonda. F5 Hell no still Zonda. F5 (guess who??!) ERISED AGAIN!!!



Thus, I continued pressing F5 time and again until the F5 key in my office fell off. I was horrified. I looked at the keyboard, and thought to myself that it is very unlucky of me.



Should I have pressed "a" and "a" dropped off, it would be ok coz a is among other alphabets and nobody notices it being missing. But I spoilt F5 (coz Singtel is a cheatabug) and it is between F4 (WAHAHAHA) and F6 so people can surely see that it is missing! I mean, 4, _ , 6?? Fill in the blank!



So anyway. Amongst the 18326 times I pressed refresh, Erised came up 18965 times and zonda 729 times and Ben 629 times. The rest is quite negligible.



Just when I was about to kill myself I pressed refresh again and the sight that greeted me made me fall backwards off my chair and because I am so fat, I cannot get up. I can't roll over either coz I am so fat, that if I roll over two times, I will end up at Batam (thats not original btw).



I was quite traumatized and I asked my colleagues to help me up. She tried to, but broke her arm in the process. The blood soaked my good hair day up. Another colleague told me to just stay there and try to sleep, but I told her I need to blog that Singtel is a big cheatabug.



So, after an hour or so, they hung the monitor and keyboard to the ceiling so that I can blog while lying down. I am very scared now that the monitor falls and smashes my head. I wonder who will scoop up my brains.



Oh yeah that day I was talking to June and Clara and we were wondering if a motorcyclist gets decapitated in his helmut, who will do the job of digging the head out?



Ok back to why I even fell backwards off my chair. It is a revolving chair, can you imagine how scary the picture is?!



IT IS ME!!! Its damn ugly! They made my head more than twice the size of say, Janice's who has nice white flowers around her!!!



HELLO??!! BIGGER PLEASE?? I AM SHOOTING A NO-MORE-PORES advertisement?!!



Damn ugly la! Cannot stand it. Why can't they put the picture of my boobs? Enlarged and double enlarged?! Doh??!



And why the queer quote of me wanting to slap those girls?! (if you are trying to read it by refreshing you will end up like me and having Erised's face imprinted onto your brains.)



I thought of a consolation for myself.



If say Singtel, by an unlikely chance, is not taking bribes from Erised to have her pic up there 18936 times, then perhaps every contestant has a same number of views, and since I keep seeing Erised, then no one else can see Erised.



Which also means that somebody else may be seeing me, me, me and me! Which is not a good thing coz my quote is gross, and my picture is too big! DUH!



Doesn't matter. In conclusion, I should have done that bj for the Singtel guy when he asked for it. KIDDING KIDDING.



But Singtel is a big cheatabug. Yet, it has the best network coverage in Singapore and the friendliest services and the best deals for phones. I love it down to the core of the orange, i mean, red umbrella!!



Singtel rules! Lee Hsien Yang is my dreamd8!!



Enough crap. Shall get outta my office now. Nights all!!

It has been long since I laughed so hard at a long complicated bunch of words. There you go:



http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/seduction.htm



ghio ge peng (pardon my bad Hokkien, it means laugh till you die).

Alright its really irritating. Sony imagestation is giving me problems so the pictures are all looking like white pictures with blue clocks on it. And why must it be so big? Well I thought those are ugly till I saw the small boxes with little red crosses. Infinitely worse.



I would have to change a picture server. Meanwhile, has anyone saved the old pictures? They seem to be gone... I don't dare to think about it. I am freaking out now. Pardon me, I think I shall slam the TV and mutate the dog.



*****



Hi everyone I am back. Since this website is so ugly right now (I can't bare to look), please read my singtel site instead. All the action's there anyway.



And one more thing: Make a wild guess.



MY COM IS DOWN AGAIN.



AGAIN.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.



Can anyone buy me a cheapo computer? I offer sexual favours such as selling June's underwear (I think I can manage to steal some).

Alrighty. People have been bugging me all day long to blog, so here is a fucking long entry, and don't complain!



*****



I can't believe it.



Just when you think that the human population cannot get any dumber, you get an unpleasant surprise. Tadah! I just realised the only thing that doesnt have a cap on it is human stupidity. The Chinese say that there is always a "higher mountain". Thats rubbish coz its Everest. But there is no "most stupid". Each day it breaks a new record.



Yesterday, I heard from Peiying that someone asked her if I am pregnant.



Now, if you are not an avid reader, please scroll down 2 entries and read some.



DUH!!!!



DOUBLE DUH!



Duh to infinity!



Someone told me that I should stop using the "kidding" word too often, coz its killing the humour for people who get it you see.



Well, see what happens even when I use it? DUMB PEOPLE STILL DON'T GET IT THAT I AM KIDDING! And now I am supposed to be pregnant with piles, and at the same time, I am an internet porn star (its my occupation in friendster)! How gross is that??



Why do people always believe me when I am lying and doubt me when I am telling the truth?



Alright let me tell you guys this now:



I am not pregnant. Nor can I ever be, because I am not even female. YES. THATS CORRECT. I HAVE BALLS. Xiaxue is an internet alias that I used, because I want attention. If you really wanna know, I am actually Edwin Yeo, the ti ko peh who writes the humour (or so I find) column in the Newpaper.



I'm shizophrenic. I need an outlet for expression which is away from public scrutiny so that I can let go without people barking down my neck you see. Oh well. Or so it started la. Now I'm STILL under public scrutiny again, but you see, thats because my writing is so good that people cannot resist it. I even threw in a few delibrate grammar, i mean, grammer, mistakes here and there to be realistic.



Then why choose a 20 year old poly student to write in the perspective of?



Its because I wanna write childish bitchy comments so a young girl would be apt.



And who is in all the photos I posted?



Oh, its a Korean girl that I pay to take photos of. She poses, and I snap. She only strips sometimes. Yeah yeah I know you knew it. Undeniably she has a slut face.



Thats right. She can't blog for nuts. She's Korean! I pushed her to enter the Singtel competition, but I write on her behalf you see. THATS DAMN RIGHT. EVERY SINGLE F thing you see on the site is FAKE!!!



"Wendy" *snigger* facing trauma because her parents are divorced? FAKE. "Wendy" getting pregnant? FAKE. "Xiaxue" having a good hair day? Yeah Song Jinn Yung was having a good hair day alright.



I know Im breaking your little heart, but facts are facts dude.



*dramatic pause*



Alright. Lets see how many people believe me.



I shall go on pretending I am "Xiaxue" (Xiaxue indeed. *Snigger*) and write as per normal.



******************



I don't get it man. Why do they ban durians on the MRT?



Lets boil it down to a few possible reasons.



1) Durians are green and green is a disgusting colour.



But they don't ban potted plants so that cannot be the reason.



2) Durians are spiky and they might, if dropped or thrown, cause grievous harm.



Yeah but they don't ban spiky potted plants (i.e a giant cactus) so that cannot be the reason too.



3) Durians are plain ugly and that's gross.



Yeah but Bon Jovi must have used public transport before he got a car?



4) Durians might have worms in them.



What wrong with a few worms?



5) Of course we know the real reason. Durians stink.



But that's bullshit! I don't think they stink! They RULE! The durian is a good fruit coz it causes nosebleeds if you eat too much of it, and nosebleeds rule.



What can be cooler than having blood stream out of your nostrils (like in the movies!) and having everyone fuss over that as if you just had a minor heart attack? And then you act cool and go like "Oh its really ok! I'm ok! Its just a pint of blood! I can lose that... Nothing important!"



Alright, assuming that Durians really stink, which they don't, shouldn't the gahment, by the same logic, ban smelly people?



Heres to stupid people:



Durian stink. Durian banned.



Smelly ah peh stink. Smelly ah peh _____. (fill in the blank)



I mean, I would rather take the MRT with a Durian than with a smelly Ah Peh. The ah peh may rape you. The durian wouldn't (don't even think about it). The ah peh might have a ring worm. The durian might just have worms. You can eat the Durian if you are hungry. If you eat the ah peh you will be jailed for... hey wait. People just DON'T eat Ah Pehs.



You are saying that Ah peks need to travel and Durians don't.



Lets be irrelevant and assume that the durian needs to travel. But its banned from public transport coz its smelly. So what should the durian do, logically? Take a bath correct?? So the ah pek should do the same thing! Look. If you are a durian, its even worse! You have to bathe all the spikes and buy new sponges everytime! At least the Ah Peks can bathe normally, so why isn't he doing so?



You say that all Durians are smelly so it is easy to ban them.



Well all smelly ah peks are smelly too. DUH!



Alright they don't all look the same, but have a smell detector then!



You say that the smelly ah peks have feelings so it is mean to ban them.



Are you saying that it is ok to ban the Durian just coz it doesn't have feelings? That's rubbish! In the first place, how do you know that the Durian doesn't have feelings? Alright assuming it doesn't, doesn't the logic stand true to vegetables as well?



I'm not telling about kai lan vegetable here. I am talking about coma vegetables here.



If they don't have feelings, does it mean that we can use them as sex toys ala Kill Bill? No right?



And EVEN WORSE! If you think about it, we should punish the ah pek even MORE! This is because the Ah pek made a CHOICE to be smelly! Yes, he might not know that he is, but logically speaking, if you don't bathe for 10 days u possibly stink, DUH! (duh is word of the day)



Which brings me abruptly to another topic.



Rape.



I watched Irreversible (AGAIN) yesterday. See, lotsa people find the rape scene very disturbing but I found it actually slightly arousing (just v v slightly) at the beginning. Until she started to squeal like a stuck pig and when she got kicked in the face it is not funny anymore of course.



Now, why do I not find it utterly revolting?



One simple reason. Because the rapist is not very ugly. If it had been a pimply sweaty hairy old man raping her while making her lick his armpits, I would have been very traumatized.



So according to my warped logic, how unpleasant rape is is highly dependant on how grosteque the rapist is. So if you are a bangala (there's nothing wrong with my personal perception that they are grosteque so stop the racist thing. I just dun like their lewd stares.) and you rape someone, you ought of have your penis chopped off AFTER you are asked to rape the MsBlast inventor. But if you are Keanu Reeves, you should be paid for sharing your wonderful sperm so generously and can you please be so kind as to rape more often? Tour to Singapore? I pay?



I think its perfectly logical.



Of course, there are many other things to consider. For example, if a monkey rapes me I would be traumatized although other monkeys (and some humans) might find that he is the cutest monkey ever. And also, just because you are good looking doesn't mean you give good sex, so if Keanu rapes me but he has a lumpy penis I would be very traumatized too. Alright this could be cured by assuming good looks extends to the size (and condition, for girls) of genitals too.



And then there is the issue that it is mean to discriminate because of looks although everyone does it anyway.



Alright you don't agree with me.



Maybe we shouldn't go to the extreme. Lets say that Keanu rapes your sister. Keanu goes to jail and yadda yadda usual punishments.



Bangala with lumpy penis rapes your sister. Bangala has aids from blood transfusion and he doesn't know he has aids. But point is that he has aids.



DON'T YOU THINK BANGALA SHOULD BE PUNISHED MORE??!



Duh!!



DUH!!







Lets jump abruptly into another topic.



A few days ago Bernard (if you people remember who) asked me to go see a 5566 concert.



Naturally I jumped at the chance. In fact, I asked him whether I could ask June along with me, so that I would not be so bored since Bernard said that there would be more of his friends going. Then he asked me whether she is chio, which I said yes to of course, and then he said that its ok.



When I called June, she said that her cousin is very interested to go, thus she would give up the seat to her cousin.



Bernard said no after asking how old the cousin is. I thought it is very mean of him to only allow (I suppose) only chio girls to go, and that his tone seems a little weird?



After much prompting, he told me that actually it is not a 5566 concert but just a magic show.



DUH!



DUH!!



I was quite pissed, but I agreed to go with him to the show.



When I arrived at the MacDonalds we were supposed to meet at, I felt strange. Strange because there was a frightfully big amount of people, and for a fucking magic show they all seem too well-dressed. If you can imagine it, the guys were typically in black pants, a long sleeved shirt tucked in, and leather shiny black loafers. Some even donned on a tie. And they were frightfully polite and friendly to me, and to everyone else.



This is weird, the whole bunch of them pretty obviously being ah bengs and lians. This is wrong. It all seems WRONG. They should be at coffee shops smoking. "ni nabeh" should come out of their mouths, not "Ni de yi fu hen mei leh?(Your clothes look good)".



I asked the people around me what kind of magic show it is, and they all said its just a magic show lor. Patronising answers. Then sniggering to themselves. So never mind, I just joked on with them.



The whole scene is reminiscent of something, but I just cannot decide what.



I told Bernard that he look like an insurance agent out to cheat people.



I told Bernard his friend looks like he is going to City Harvest.



Yes, in fact, the whole bunch looks like City Harvest people. Too friendly, hypocritically friendly, because God says it is good to be nice or something. And people acting as if they are the best of friends although they barely knew each other. Dressing up for church, as if God cares whether you are in a potato sack or in Gucci. Adam and Eve came naked anyway. They just wanna sex, sodding obvious, DUH.



Little did I realise that it is a combination of the two things I predicted them to be.



MLM.



Imagine my horror when I stepped into the big hall and I saw the words Astral Mag. DOH.



I shall continue blogging tomorrow. Suddenly very sick of blogging.



*****



To the angelic people who sent me the fix for MSBLAST (my version is called MsLaugh) I am really really thankful. You people are great, seriously. You make me wanna donate money to flag day people just coz its nice to be nice.



Nights all.



And oh yeah. I blogged all these when I was at TODAY. Nothing to do nia. And yes. My com is fixed.

I'm sorry.. Really busy these few days... Plus my com is recently revived. And guess what? I kanna MsBlast within 1 hour of usage!!! Yaaay! I'm like the luckiest girl on Earth!! And I can't patch it coz my uncle (yes the same one) used a cheong CD with a cheong CD key which Microsoft recognises, so the patch cannot be installed properly! Wonderful!



If I have one wish now, I would wish that the person who created MsBlast would be raped by a raging bull with aids and herpes. And then have three satay sticks driven thru his balls. While having me roll up a vanguard sheet and hollar through that at his ear: "YOU JIAK BA BO SAI PANG IZZIT???!"



He would possibly answer, "Oh yes, yes!" since he cannot understand Hokkien since he must be Russian (Russians are evil) and thinks I am asking him whether he is sorry.



I will then drown his pets/kids one and by one and make him DAMN sorry for making my life so miserable!



Bill Gates would be eternally grateful to me and will give me 300 million bucks and I will be the richest blogger on Earth!! Wahahahaha!



-_-



But this is if I have one wish. Which I don't. If I do, I will first wish that the fucking rooster which wakes me up every 4 am will be raped by a raging bull with aids and herpes.... And it goes on. See? I'm a simple and sweet girl actually. Its just that I get bad experiences in life.



I mean, who else (besides my neighbours) has a freaking mad rooster waking them up every single day of their lives at 4 am??



Alright. My com cannot install photoshop somehow, so I shall not blog. Meanwhile, voting has started! Vote for me k, but keep in mind that tomorrow is only the second day and it will last a week. And also, votes will be set to zero every week. So yeah, vote if you wanna, now. Only for Singtel users!



SMS "Xiaxue" to 221200!!!



Repeat the number after me, loud and clear:



xiaxue to 221200



xiaxue to 221200



xiaxue to 221200



xiaxue to 221200



xiaxue to 221200



xiaxue to 221200





Each vote costs $0.20, and I reckon it will be ok if you spend like 100 bucks on me every week!



Why vote for me?



Because honestly: Have you seen a better blogger than me?! NO WAY! I am second to none! I'm a born blogger! Blogging is in my blood! Blogger (the site) only exists for ME! Reading my site is the only reason why you live! Every-fucking-body loves me!! No one isn't my fan! I make you smile! I make u laugh out loud in front of your screen, making ur mum whack you on the head to ask you if you are crazy! I make you tremble and pray as you click on your favourites, bite your nails, and open ur eyes slowly wishing and wishing so hard that there is an update!



Enough bullshit. Just vote la.



Oh yeah. And my trailer is on 98.7 FM, the ad for dreamd8... It sounds damn sexy. I am so in love with myself man.



P/s: For blogders who emailed me asking where the Edwin Yeo entry went to, you were hallucinating. There was no such entry. Madness, all of you.

Just a few news coz I have a test tomorrow and I've gotta study for it...



1) I'm pregnant, help me think of a name for my baby.



Kidding.



1) Anyone knows where to buy Preparation H?



Kidding.



1) Ok I'm serious now. I'm on the centerfold of the Newpaper if you managed to get your hands on one. More about that when I have the time. But anyway my butt looks fat in that picture (believe me it is alot nicer than what it appears to be ok!) and I look absolutely horrid. I need photoshop. I am dying without photoshop. And a PC for that matter.



2) I got my first interview with RSI, a chinese radio station which runs by Shortwaves, which means it reaches out more to a regional audience rather than merely Singaporean. You can hear my voice (speaking in crisp Mandarin!) if you wanna... This interview is merely for myself, as a blogger, and nothing to do with the Singtel competition. As soon as I know the date I would let you know!



Sincerest (if there is such a word) apologies to non-mandarin speaking blogders though...



3) I got interviewed by Lian He Zhao Bao as well but I can't seem to find the article, so if you see it tell me!!



4) I got into Mediacorp Press for my attachment!! How cool is that!



5) Voting starts on 1st March 2004, for the Dreamd8 thing.. It would be 20 cents per vote, and you can even msg me if you wanna. Click here to see how!



I suggest, however, that you save on that 20 to sms me and send me an email instead, coz I would not reply it as the 3650 that Singtel sponsored is very tough to sms with. If you really wanna show support, do vote instead.



Keep in mind however that the contest would go on for a relatively long time, and each week the votes would get deleted, so if you can only cast one vote then I hope you would do so during the later weeks I guess. IF I managed to stay in the contest long enough.



6) The launch party on Thursday was a big blast, it is really a pity for those who didn't go coz the competition would be so much more exciting should you have seen all the contestants. An interesting bunch, I would say.



Androgenous Aaron won himself a 3660 (an upgrade of 3650) coz he was the most avid supporter!! Coz my classmates bought flowers for me and AndroAaron kneeled down to present the flowers to me!!! And he got a 6 months free subscription! Gwenne got a webcam! How cool is that!



7) I lost weight! This is because my maid is gone and I am too lazy to cook! How cool is that!



Thats it!!! But I'm on a roll!! No one is luckier than me on this Earth! I'm one lucky bitch!!! Yaaaaaay!! Yeehaa!!!



I LOVE YOU ALL!!!



On a last note, VOTE FOR ME OR DIE.

Its Valentine's Day once again, the stupid day where men spend so much to pay to florists who are sniggering behind their backs.



Juts a thought: If you are a flowery florist, should your date buy flowers from you to give to you? If he does (I am assuming that most florists are females), isn't it irritating that u would have to wrap your own flowers?? If he does not, do you feel betrayed that he is giving business to other people?? Wahahahahaha... LOL



I'm not gonna blog much coz I'm using my friend's laptop and I hate typing on laptops.



So anyway, what did YOU do this V Day for your loved ones?? I excitedly shaved my pubes into a heart shape and dyed it pink merrily, and then realised that no one's looking. So I dejectedly went to a bar to look for other singles so that the dye job doesn't go to waste. Alas... All the bleach corroded my skin and it is now inflamed with little cauliflower-like growths, thus scaring the shit out of the French man (You should be like ze hippo...[see Along Came Polly, f-funny]) I managed to hook up at a bar. He freaked out, smacked me with a Hermes bag, poured some wine onto my head and proceeded to leave for the Eiffel Tower. WTF.



I'm kidding. But I thought it is a pretty cool idea, isn't it?? I mean the dyeing, not the cauliflower like growths.



So anyway, Alvin bought me a big bouquet of Tulips despite me explicitly asking him not to coz I do not think the florists deserve the money (He can jolly well give it to me!), and I think that I would be very tempted to whack love-sick people with the bouquet should they smooch on escalators. It would be very pleasant if they have hay fever.



So, I left the bouquet in the car.



However, as I was walking around Cineleisure, I realised that I should not have left the bouquet there, coz everyone else seems to prancing around with an adoring male and a teeny weeny bouquet of flowers.



The POINT IS THAT MINE IS BIGGER!!!



Now I know how men with big penises feel. You wanna shout to the world! "I HAVE A FUCKING BIG PENIS!!! YOU SHOULD FUCK ME AND HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!" but they can't, coz they can't prove it just like that!! How irritating is that!!



MY BOUQUET IS BIGGER! IT IS BIGGER! IT IS BETTER!! IT HAS MORE OoophMmm!IT HAS MORE FLOWERS! ITS EXPENSIVE TULIPS!! NOT STUPID ROSES!! But I left it in the car!!!



No one is competing with me you say. BULLSHIT! The silly girls with the single rose (or the miserly 3 rose plastic wrapped bunches) are all giving me the "My bf treats me better than yours!" look. Well thats nonsense. Alvin, although boyfriend he is not, just caught me a firefly from camp.



And it really glows!! Its so cute!! Alvin says that to catch it you sort of wait for it to fly around, then smack it. Then it sort of goes dizzy and flutters down to the grass, where you have to immediately whip out a torch and find it. And he presented it to me in a ice mountain water bottle.



But thats not the point!! The point is I wanna slap those girls!! Why are they looking so proud of themselves??! Its just a minute puny bunch of cheapo flowers!!! HELLO! WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!! Stop looking so dreamy and love-sick! HE JUST WANTS A BLOWJOB! (If the same theory stands Alvin wants a BIG blowjob. I asked him and he denies it. Bloody liar.)



I thought of ways to counter these idiotic girls.



I shall print t-shirts. T-shirts that I would sell on V-day to girls who don't wanna (or didn't) get flowers.







And if thats not satisfying enough, surely this is:







Wahahahaha.. Did I say I shall not blog much.. Sorry, I eat my words again.

Terrrrrrrific news people!! MY COM IS DOWN!!!!



*stunned silence*



CONGRATULATIONS!!! AND CELEBRATIONS!!



So no blogging.



If you expect me to apologize for the inconvenience caused, don't. Coz I am dying without a com myself!

There will be a launch party for Singtel's my dreamd8's finalists, and it will be on thursday at a club... Free entry and drinks, IF you make banners for me!!!! Lalala!!!



Send me an email asap if you wanna go.. You don't need to even talk to me if you don't wanna, but if you wanna come pump my hand and say you love my blog, I'm more than happy!! Hahahaha!!



Alright, do send me an email if you wanna go!!

Bản tóm tắt này không có sẵn. Vui lòng nhấp vào đây để xem bài đăng.

So far out of 125 people who read my blog, 16 of them are amoebas and 5 of which are gay amoebas.



WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

June sent me this via email... Its a picture of a foreign worker....



Just a thought.. Have you realised that there are no fat bangalas?? This goes to show that with hard work and no money to buy good food, there's a thin bangala inside everyone wanting to climb outta those fats.



Alright, now to the picture of the really cute foreign worker:











Ladies and Gentlemen....



















I present to you....















Jian gui le!!!

WELCOME TO THE GUESS SHOW!!!!



WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! I almost laughed my placenta out.



If you don't know whats so funny, you should watch more taiwan variety shows, baby...



Oh yeah btw. IS MY NEW TEMPLATE FREAKING NICE, OR WHAT?? I luuuuve it!

When I was younger, someone posted this question to me.



She asked, "Wendy, what do you think is the most beautiful thing on Earth?"



At that point of time, I realised that I cannot give her my answer because there are so many different beautiful things, such as the sea, such as the rainbow, etc. I can't make up my mind.



I asked many people this question, and the most common answers are invariably the sea and the sky.



WHY! Blue stuff are ugly. I hate blue.



I asked my mum and she said its diamonds.



One guy gave me a sweet answer: "Women."



June said its herself.



I'm kidding.



But anyway, as I get older, I realised what my answer would be.



It is an orgasm.



An orgasm is so beautiful because of so many reasons. It is the most powerful (or maybe sensational) form of love, it is also mostly rare for women (Bloody selfish men!), and it is one thing that has almost no bad side effects! Most of the time it is free too.



Orgasms fill people with endorphins. Endorphins make people happy.



See, when you are happy, you make everybody around you happier too, except your enemies, but of course seeing your enemies seething that u are happy will makes you happy as well, so you get even happier and ur enemies get angrier and the nice cycle goes on.



When you are happy you laugh alot and suddenly everything seems more beautiful. The world is disease-free! Dolphins are playing, the grass is green on every side, and daffodils are blossoming everywhere! What a wonderful world!



When you are filled with endorphins, people of the opposite sex are attracted to you because of the scent you emit. This is scientifically proven. So when people of the opposite sex are attracted to you, you get praises. Praises make you more confident. When you are confident you can attract more people.



An orgasm also helps you lose some fats. Now thats cool too because you will look better, unless you don't have any fats to minus from, but I don't talk to skinny people so thats their business.



Orgasms are also a form of exercise. Exercise makes you radiant and healthy. Healthy and radiant people get more suiters. Orgasms also prevent cancer and acne. Yeah right. No it doesn't.



But then... you have a truckload of people to choose from, and you pick the best, in which hopefully you can get more (and more and more! and better! longer-lasting!) orgasms from.



The "best" chosen person continues to be attracted, and he also feels that u are terrific because there are so many other people attracted to you so he must be so lucky. He doesn't know its because of him that so many people like you of course.



Lets see on the other hand how things will be without orgasms.



People can smell desperate-ness from a mile away. When u portray yourself to be desperate, you don't get sex. No sex=no orgasms. Then you become more desperate. Then it can be smelt from 2 miles away. Desperation=no sex. Then you get frantic. = no sex. Then you finally die. Life is not worth living.



In conclusion, an orgasm in the most beautiful thing on earth.



You may disagree, but thats your business. You need more orgasms to prove me correct.



Speaking of changing other people's opinion, today I worked with this really smart girl at Tiger Beer called Qingwen. We were speaking of some conflict between me and Bobby (never you mind!) and she gave me this little piece of advice, which I found was really good. She said,

"Bobby is very egoistic. Whenever you disagree with him, its like telling him in the face "YOU ARE WRONG". And whether its wrong or not, is almost always a matter of opinions.



And opinions. There are 1001 opinions everywhere. You have yours and I have mine, and what you do stand to gain to make me change my opinion to become yours? Nothing right? So just leave him as he is, even if you know he is wrong."

I shall learn to do that.



So anyway, back to orgasms.



If only I could bottle and sell orgasms, I would make millions!! How much will an average person pay for a mind-blowing thigh-throbbing spasm-inducing Endorphin Rush? $50? Depends on how long it lasts?



Imagine this! In the future, at the bus stop no one smokes anymore. They all do Wendy's big Os. Wendy's Big Os has no evil side effects while smoking causes lung cancer. Smoking makes your teeth yellow. Wendy's make you look beautiful and attractive.



People mix Wendy's with some other chemicals and it becomes an Orgasm so strong its made illegal. Thats known as drugs. No one takes heroin anymore.



Most unfortunately no one will have sex anymore, but the world is facing doomsday soon isn't it? Or maybe I can sell the Big Os in Small Os form, so people still have sex for the real thing.



Now the problem is how do I manufacture orgasms?



Yawnz. I have got to do my project.



Laters, people.



Meanwhile, I would like to say that I am on a roll. I will tell u all when I'm all prepared. =D



Good day!

Oh no the spoof has been updated!! Please don't read it!! Eddy is EVIL!!! The spoof! Oh it ruins my life! Some people hate me!!!



BTW there are some pretty smart spammers writing on the tagboard, so anything that sounds ridiculous is not by me. I'm keeping the taggie there in case blogger fucks up on me again and thats the only way I can edit the site.



(Oh yeah to those dumbos who still don't get it, the SPOOF IS WRITTEN ENTIRELY BY ME. Yes, gasp all you want. I think its pretty well done. I laugh everytime I read it myself.)

For those who have been checking back these few days, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. I understand how that feels, coz being the Maddox addict I am, I often check out to his site to find its still the exact same post, and I feel like whacking him.



But of course I can't do that coz he has giant balls and he might hit me with them. I am scared.



But thats not the point of course. The point is why I can't update these few days.



This is because



1) Everyone else reading blogs will be reading about other people's chinese new year shit and I don't want to bore you more but telling you what a smashing new year I had, besides losing $30 to the Jie (pronounced as G) family yesterday and very stupidly shaking their hands at the end of the day saying,



"Gong xi fa cai!! Zu ni feng du bi ying!", which roughly translates to me wishing they will win everytime they gamble. The only problem is that most of the time they gamble with me.



Huifen gave a little grimace when I said that. She possibly thinks "Can't say the same for you!", but never mind.



2) All the bullshit aside, the real reason why I didn't blog is because my uncle formatted my computer. Its rude and mean to speak badly of people, but I shall do it anyway because you guys don't know my uncle and if you were me you will boil too.



See, some time a few weeks ago my computer had no less than 79 viruses. Yes, its a freaky amount. I was totally appalled and told my mum about it, and being the typical auntie she is, she freaked out too. I told her I would get a com expert friend to come to our place to help sort it out, but I don't think she believed in an average pimply teenager to handle the 79 formidable viruses.



One fine day, I awoke to my uncle sitting at the com desk. In replacement of the typical look of the computer was the big shiny blue buttons of windows XP instead of our old 98.



I got totally freaked out, and asked him, "YOU FORMATTED THE COMPUTER AH??!"



He said he didn't, and he was merely changing the OS, coz my mum complained to him that there are a lot of viruses.



Now thats fucking stupid.



He changed the OS coz he wanted to uninstall all the programs, so that whatever virus is there will be uninstalled as well. The obvious error is that the viruses files will still be in the computer! They will come back no matter what OS we have! DUH!



I have no idea why middle aged men have to act like they are damn good at computers when they are obviously NOT. It really really pisses me off.



Another uncle, for example, is just another average joe who can operate Word ok. He thinks he is damn good at computers. My mum trusts him more than she trusts me, just cos he is older, and he is a guy.



But he is really deluded. He used to tell my mum that our computer kanna virus because I have a wallpaper.



WHAT THE *TOOT*?!!



A fucking .jpg file can cause a freaking virus??! Thats the first time I heard such things. Its pure, untreated, organic bullshit. With that my mum forbade wallpapers on my computer, which was the start to a lot of quarrels.



Mum "Wallpaper again! How many times must I tell you??!"



Me: "Please lor its just a picture file! No virus one la! How can a picture coming out from my digicam have a virus??! You please don't listen to uncle's nonsense la! He thinks he is damn good but he doesn't know anything lor!"



Mum: "You don't put it will die is it?"



Me: "Thats not the point mah!"



Mum: "Yeah maybe it doesnt cause the virus, but cannot just play safe and don't put it meh? Just to make me happy can or not?"



Me: "Then put the stupid clouds can, put my pictures cannot?"



Mum: "That one is already in the computer what!"



Me: "My picture also already in the computer what!"



Mum: "Just take it off."



See? Stupid uncle's fault.



He also thinks that by having irc in the computer, you will automatically get viruses. And of course he told that to my mum as well. He doesnt know that in irc you will not get files unless you accept them, and of course I wouldn't be so dumb as to accept mysterious files.



The previous times my com got viruses, he used to come and give it a cure, by using his norton antivirus disk.



-_-||



He will make it a big deal, like its really troubling him, and can I please stop putting wallpapers because it keeps causing viruses, and stop using IRC.



It really pisses me off. Operate a fucked up norton disk?? I can do that too! Duh! It not that difficult, why must he act as if he just went to the moon and he is the only rare expert that can do that?



And because he is perpetually grouchy, my mum gets very nervous whenever our computer has some problems, because she would have to face him again.



So anyway, this time she got another uncle to come. This uncle is slightly better. At least he doesn't think that wallpapers causes viruses.



But he thinks that changing the OS can curb viruses from ever coming back.



So anyway, he changed the OS and said that he is not free to complete the thing today, coz he only created one user, which is for my mum.



I was still very traumatized because I realised that all my programs are gone, and I don't have any idea where all my installer discs are.



At that point of time I told him to come format the com for me, coz its really too full of rubbish. After I copy all my files of course.



After this, I discovered www.trendmicro.com coz a friend told me about it. The free virus scan helped me delete all the viruses, so now there is no need to format it already. I met the uncle during my grandpa's birthday and I told him that there is no need now to format my com for me.



But he didn't give any credit to what a little teenage girl says of course.



I saw him sitted at the com around a week ago, when I just woke up. My mum was doing her stuff.



I asked him gleefully whether he is creating another user for me?



He said he formatted the com. All the fucking files are GONE!!!!



MY god! My hundred over pictures! My word documents! My blog templates! ALL FREAKING GONE!!!



I immediately looked at my mum and asked her why she asked my uncle to come and do this when she didn't even TELL ME? She is always like this lor! She didn't give a shit about my opinions just coz I am a kid to her! She will think, "What important things can Wendy have in her com? Its just the normal nonsense la... Nothing important that will affect her life."



My mum said that she didn't know about my uncle coming to format it.



I found that impossible. Then who opened the door for him, huh? I proceeded (rather loudly I might add) to remind her of all the things that I have lost; all my pictures, my school work, my links etc. All these cannot ever be retrieved back you know?!



With this I stormed into my room and slammed the door, and proceeded to cry my heart out. All my pictures!!



Outside, pandemonium was happening. My uncle shouted at my poor mom too. He is a fucked up asshole.



He said, "How can you allow her to speak to you like this? She is very rude you know?! Wah, I come here to help her (I already said I don't need your freaking help, bastard. Thanks but no thanks!), and i still cause my sister to get shouted at like that ah! (Yeah you are right I should have shouted at you and kicked your balls.) I can do anything for you you know, cause you are my sister, but I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HER!"



With that he dramatically slammed my door and stormed out.



WHAT THE FUCK??!



Why is he shouting at my mum like that??!



And surely it is all his fault?! How can he just come to people's house and format people's computer without prior asking?? Its totally rude! The computer is not his, not his to delete anything he likes! And now I am upset about all my pictures gone. Do I not have the rights to be? And if I were a little bit ruder, I would have scolded him too, but I didn't do it.



He deserves a prod in the ass with a bloody pussy willow. Against the grain. Again. And prodded again! Again! Repeat! Burn the pussy willow and prod it once more. Ok enough.



My mum came into the room to find me sobbing with my face in my hands. She softly said she is sorry, coz she went to the market after my uncle came, and she did not know that I have not saved my files yet as I have told her before that I wanted to format the thing.



I told her never mind la, what is done is done lor...



So the point is, after the very long digression, that I have not yet found the installer disk for my camera, so I cannot upload all the 48 photos that I wanna show you all. Thats really sucky.



And without the photos, I refuse to blog.



Soon. I promise. When I am less lazy I would get my ass off the couch and go find it. I think its in the box.. Haha...



Alright. Hope you all have a happy new year!



*****



June, to Gwenne: "Yadda yadda Tampines yadda yadda."



Me: "Huh?? Whose penis?"



June: "Not everything is about sex you know?!"



Oh she needs an orgasm. LOL

Why people are so stupid to think that I should be insulted by the spoof, when its entirely written by myself in the name of a fictitious character, really baffles me.

Oh my holy shit I am so freaking dead.



I have COMPLETELY forgotten that today is the 24th of January 2004, which is also the test date for my SATs.



I only knew around 10 minutes ago in Alvin's car when I was complaining that my SAT is coming up, and when he asked when, I said 24th, which somehow, in some delusion, I thought would be in another say.. TWO WEEKS or so?



But no. Its today. I have not studied, I have no idea what the hell an SAT paper looks like, and I don't even have 2B pencils. Oh wait, think I stole a few from Ritz (Bloody cheapo yes). But heck, I paid $80, and I must take a chance.



Wish me luck people. I would really love to blog on, but I am too busy biting my nails off and typing with one hand is really difficult.



-Pray for me, I need it.-

Have been busy the past few days, thus no blogging, and suddenly, its CNY again!!



I swear I will smash the next TV which goes "Chun lian hong! Chun lian hong!". But actually I wouldn't coz I secretly like that song.



But thats not the point.



The point is, I got lots and lots to blog about, and I will do it on my clie tml, while other people are busy attacking food and chatting with useless small talk...



I hope everyone has a happy happy new year, and collect much more angpow money than Adryan, who is by far the person I know with most, averagely 700 bucks. Lucky git.



If you are a parent then I hope you have very normal looking ang pow packets so that even when you give very little money no one will remember its you.



=D



Ba kua here I come!!

Just won $6 in mahjong. Yaaay!



Me: "I hate people who patronise me. I hate it when people are too lazy to answer so they just say 'I don't know.'"



Alvin: "Why?"



Me: "I don't know la. Just don't like."



Alvin: -__-||

Girls girls listen up!!!



Whats this?





Its the John little warehouse sale at Expo!!



Everything there is so FREAKING cheap!!! I went there with June and Gwenne the day before, and bought $150 worth of stuff. However if you go tml there will be lotsa people as it is a Sunday. Go there dressed in tight clothes (so that u can try on the clothes by just pulling it over), and bring a light sling bag. Be sure to elbow the aunties mercilessly. It will be best if you look slightly crazy, so that people are scared off.



You will be given this big plastic bag to throw in all the stuff you want. Move along, and take everything that pleases you. You can dump anything you don't want later. NO TIME NO TIME!



Heres June and Gwenne throwing out the loot they don't want.







Pictures pictures...



Pink Camisole. $9 bucks.





Double-breasted Coat, complete with lining and stuff. 15 freaking dollars.





Pierre Cardin full set bra and panty. $10!!





Pierre Cardin again, with Felancy bra. Latter costs 2 for $10.





Some nonsense perfume that smells (and looks) like Hugo Boss!! 2 for $10.





MAKE-UP!!!







OMG I am getting so excited.



Whitia powder, which I don't use. Intend to sell it on Yahoo! Auctions. Usual price $26. I BOUGHT IT at $9.90!



ZA two-way cake refill!!! (Currently only dark shades left, I'm so sorry, dears.) Usual price, around $16. I GOT IT AT $8.95!! I bought FOUR.



Maybelline Diamond Shine Lip Gloss, $8 usual price $14.



Nonsense brand eyeshadow in dark brown, my typical make-up must have. $4.90. I bought FOUR. Blusher, $6.90.



WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!



I am king!!!



WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!



Its so freaking cheap, cannot stand it.



I bought the new Loreal Mascara at Watsons though, with a $3 discount, so its $20.90.



Its abso-fucking-lutely good!! Its the only mascara which claims to lengthen your lashes to fake lashes standards, and really does it.



Here, living proof.





Before.







Amazing ah! I swear no photoshop done.



I apologize for being so late in sharing this wonderful piece of news, because I have been really busy recently packing clothes.



Lots and lots of clothes, which shall all be either given to the salvation army, or sold at yahoo auctions.







I think my clothes are scary. And this is only half. Theres still those in the other cupboard....







I found this sweatshirt which was designed by me and sent for printing for my NCC group. Ah... Such sweet memories...

There was this couple in front of me when I was on the bus.



I sit behind them, directly behind the guy and ajacent the girl.



All was fine and sunny and I am feeling happy because all was fine and sunny.



Suddenly, the girl pecked the guy on the cheek.



The guy smiled, and pecked her back on the cheek.



They had a smooching competition to see who could peck more.



The girl won, and smiled triumphantly at the guy.



The guy looked at her, and gave her a sudden smooch on the lips while the girl tried to act surprised.



I got really pissed off and nudged the guy on his back with my knee (with the seat in between us of course).



He seems to feel that pretty much arousing so he smooched her more.



I nudged him harder.



He continued the smooch, and most disgustingly, the girl was STILL acting surprised.



So I took out a Ritz Carlton matchbox set his hair on fire.







"Oooh! Help help!", he cried, as he tried, with no avail, to stop the flames from spreading to his sideburns (no puns intended).



I smirked as I folded my arms. I sat back to enjoy the show. I sat back not because I wanted to act cool but because the fire was making it a little hot to sit close to the subject of interest.



The girl was in major distress.



She screamed her head off.



Serve her right for smooching in front of me. I bet she is the kind that smooches on escalators too. The next time I see couples smooch on the escalator, I shall stop the escalator suddenly and pretend to point at the some old uncle and say he did it. The couple will be halted in their smooching and might, if luck prevails, have knocked each other's teeth off with the sudden jerk.



So anyway, I slapped the girl and asked her to shut the fuck up.



She begged me to save her bf between mouthfuls of mucus. The rest of the bus heck-cared her coz they are watching the 14th rerun of Star Awards.



So I said, "No, coz you and him just ruined my fine and sunny day. Plus your boobs are small. I don't talk to people with small boobs. Speak to my hand."



"Please! Save him! He is dying!"



The guy seems to have extinguished the fire when we both turned to look at him. One uncle had poured a can of Jia jia Herbal Tea on his head mumbling something about how vile that concoction is. The bf seems at peace with himself and was curiously touching his hair with his index finger gently.



"Look darling!", he addressed the girl, not looking at her but checking out his reflection on the bus window. "Afro hair!!"



The TV Mobile screen flashed Fann Wong's previous appearances during past Star Awards including the year where she wore green shorts and had the exact same hair the BF has. I exploded into laughter. (no offence to Idris whatsoever.)



"OMG I am so happy you are fine!!!", said the girl. A guy at the back of the bus started to play a sad tune on his violin.



She rushed over to him, all filled with tears and stuff, and smooched him on his lips, despite it having bits of burnt hair on it.



I set fire to his hair again.



It is a fine, sunny day afterall.

Why the hell am I doing this instead of sleeping....

From: Terence Koh

To: xiaxue_blog@yahoo.co.uk

Subject: Don't (and a song for you)



Change your image? Impulsive decision ya? haha... don't.... if you do... there wont be anymore interesting blogs to read liao... anyway... here's a remix of the song superman



I can't stand to whine

I'm not that naive

I'm not out to find

The shu nu side of me

I'm more than a bird...I can be a pain

More than some pretty face on an MRT train

It's not easy to be me



It may sound absurd...but don't be naive

Becos i just have the right to bitch

I may be disturbed...but i won't concede

You can always choose not to read

It's not easy to be me



Left out the second stanza... cant think of anything.. haha...



*****



Wonderful. Wahahahaha... I laughed my head off. Thanks, Terence...

The soft approach is the correct way to get to me. I don't go by threat.



When I was young and my mum forced me to bathe, I would go into the bathroom, spray some water here and there on the floor, but just plain refuse to bathe. Obstinate, yes. Thats me. Ask me nicely, and explain to me that it is time to bathe, and I will. Force me to, and no way I will listen.



So anyway, yes, I will delete her photo. I have requested for the forums to do that too, but whether they do or not is not within my powers.



To Sally: sorry for causing any inconvenience on your part, guess I was behaving too rashly. Whether Jeremy makes a bad choice, or a good one, its up to him to judge as it is his relationship; no one else's.



I still maintain that I can judge it if I want to though, coz afterall I wanna know who I lost to.



To everyone who is saying: "It is none of your business who Jeremy likes!", my response is this: "It is none of your business too whether I make who Jeremy likes my concern or not."



Gosh am I a vindictive bitch.



But I am trying to be nice. Really. =D



Ok ok I said I am sorry already. Its difficult. *bites lips*

Just woke up from a series of hate msgs from Jeremy, thus spurring the first ever morning entry, simply because I can't get back to sleep.



Now Jeremy is possibly cursing SARS on me, and its possibly coming true, coz my fever has been here for 3 days already.



First off, thank you to everyone who emailed me to ask me to take care (although u all possibly know I hate that sentence.)



Back to more interesting topic besides yours truly getting SARS, lets go on to the saga, continued.



Jeremy.



He started off with a little msg requesting for me to take off the picture of his Monkee Gal (rather politely, I might add), but too bad he msged me on my starhub line, because I don't reply msgs directed to the said account, so he didn't get a reply. But I thought to myself, "Oops, its really a little mean of me ah. I shall take it off when I blog again. Coz I am sick now anyway."



Jeremy apparently took that as a "No" I think, so today, he proceeded to msg me rather fiercely about how I can write all I want about him but I should leave his friends alone (i write about anyone I want, friend or not, dude.), and he regrets knowing me and can I stop getting on his back.



I replied,

"Hmmm... Understand your anger. Will delete it later."

He took that as a cue to start insults, and continued with how pissed his gf is coz her photo is being circulated in various forums and she did nothing to deserve it.



Ok, several arguments here.



1) Why should I give a shit about how pissed his gf is? Who is she to me? DUH. Pissed? Ask her to fuck herself.



2) I am entitled to write whatever I want in my blog, as long as it is not libel. Its just too bad for Jeremy that alot of people read it. So? Blame me for the readers? Its not my fault they come. Its not MY fault they copied her picture. Yes, it IS mean of me to post her picture, or to bad-mouth shu nus in general. Thats why I offered to take it off, but guess what Jeremy? I have EVERY right to do that. (except for the posting of her photo, which violates copyrights laws.) If she is not happy about this, she can write a blog to insult me too.



3) She did nothing to deserve it? Cheers dude, the cancer patients did nothing to deserve shit too. Welcome to life. Its middle name is "unfair".



4) Yes I posted her picture. True enough it violates her copyrights, but it has always been in friendster, available for the whole world to see. Whats so shameful about her picture then? True I said she sucks, but my readers have BRAINS, Jem. They can judge for themselves whether she sucks or not. No one will just take my word for it.



5) In conclusion, it is MEAN of me to do whatever I did, but I have every right to do it.



6) I already offered to take it off, what more you want?! Gosh. An official apology to her?



Oooh Monkee Gal its really silly of you to get angry with AstRoBoy you know coz I am the bitch here, I'm sorry I posted your picture, its my fault that u don't look like a goddess, its oh-so-mean of me to write bad stuff about you (or rather, shu nus in general. I don't remember insulting you). If you want your photos removed from the forums, do email the administrator like I did, you can even copy my mail if you want.



Oh yeah in future do not put pictures in friendster if you don't want anyone to copy them. This is just a gentle reminder of course, no offence. Oh yeah its MY fault that the forum people put ur picture up. I control their brains and made them do it. Anyway, they are a bunch of idiots yes but they are speaking well of you what? And bad of me, so whats there to be angry about? *yawn*



So anyway, after replying that whole big chunk (the chunk above the 'apology') to Jeremy, he replied that I don't speak reason and "just take off that photo after your period is over."



Good news for you, Jeremy.



YOU CAN'T COMMAND ME.





Too bad you tried to do that, because you have pissed me off and there her picture shall remain, no matter how sweet, gentle, or polite Sally is.



As I said, if she is not happy, she can either fuck herself, or delete away that friendster picture of hers, which will result in a small red cross in my site, which will make me a itsy bitsy bit pissed, if that makes her happier. I can't be bothered to save it to my photo's site.



*****



Back to another topic of rights.



Some time ago I was with Ghimz and PY out on dinner. The night before, my dad got angry with me, and swept the fan onto the floor. It smashed to bits.



I was complaining to them that I think he has no rights to threaten violence on us like this, and its just WRONG to slam things around.



Ghim gave a very refreshing point of view: Surely, it is better of him to vent his anger on objects than people.



I replied that well, he shouldn't even slam anything, coz its not fair as everyone at home is smaller in size and we are scared whenever he does it, so we give in to his absurd ideas, when obviously he is wrong. He uses this trick to settle things everytime, and everytime he wins.



Ghimz thought for a moment, and asked, "Did he buy the fan?"



"Yeah."



"He bought it, he can slam it. I don't mean by doing that he is correct, but he has every right to do that."



"Its not like that one mah. That fan is bought for me, so its mine. Like that if your dad decides that he wants to smash the new car he bought for you, he can do it meh?"



"Yes, I would think he has all the rights to do that."



"So you are saying that whatever money that you save up from your pocket money, your parents have every right to destroy the things you bought with the money, coz it comes from them."



"Yup."



After this we got on into another discussion about how children are sort of "owned" by their parents, so the parents are free to do whatever they want to them, coz without the parents, the children can't be existent anyway.



Its just like in this situation, a man saves a woman from drowning. There is a chinese saying that the woman "owes" the man a life, because without him, she would have no life to speak of.



If this is true, then certainly a father has every right to rape his daughter and use her as a sex toy once she is born, since its his child?



To a certain extent, one could say that the arguement seems correct, but every humans has their rights.



In the drowning example, the argument could be that the woman has never consented to the agreement that she would be the man's once he saved her. She should have the rights to a CHOICE. Say for example, when on the verge of drowning, the man asked her, "I can save you, but if I succeed and you live on, you shall be MINE."



If the woman agrees, then yes, the servitude to the man will be reasonable.



But if its unspoken, then it can be argued that the woman did not ASK for him to save her, did she? Why should she listen to him after he saved her? Yes indeed, the woman would have no life to speak of if the guy didn't save her, but... I don't know how to argue this out, so I shall just say that instinctively it seems wrong.



So anyway, back to the point, the daughter did not ASK for the parents to give birth to her too. And when she is a baby, she has no mind of her own to decide what she wants, so the law states that her parents will decide for her, till she is of a legal age.



Can her parents decide to abuse her, or sell her off as a slave?



And then there is the topic of society's expectations.



When a couple decides they want a baby, surely they know that they should provide for the baby till he can take care of himself, and they should love it, and etc etc. If they think they cannot abide to these expectations, then don't give birth at all.



I have always taken for granted that my parents should love me and provide for me. Afterall, I didn't ask them to have me, and since they did they should do as most parents do.



But fact is that they don't have to do that. Its merely a set of criteria from society, but they have every right not to abide to it. It is WRONG of course, to not take care of or love their child but they have the rights to.



Very confusing stuff. Pardon me if I am rambling on, coz afterall I do have a fever. And its 10 in the morning, ridiculously early.



Shall go back to sleep now, tell me what you think yeah? Both the Jeremy and rights issue. I love to hear comments.



Oh yeah btw any other forum besides the hardwarezone retards forum? LOL. Stupid people miss the point, find another non-existent point, and celebrate it. I can't be bothered to argue, its really pretty useless.

She is a shu nu. Every testimonial says she is gentle.



how come people say gentleness is a virtue?? Don't men (the idiots) REALISE that gentleness is a thing that can be easily FAKED??! So its not that difficult to be gentle afterall. I can speak softly, tread quietly, learn to play the ku zhen and I can be all gentle and lovely.



It is just that I can't be bothered to.



Whereas, if you ask HER to come up with a good joke, or be intelligent, I don't think she can do it.



There you go. Sweet, gentle girls. Ah well. If there ain't any of those in the world, I wonder who will tailor our clothes. Donatella Versace? Who will trim plants? Who will love those poor pets in SPCA?



Its time for me to wake up my idea, and act shu nu starting from now. Men. They want to be deceived, don't they. I can do that.



Damn. All the new clothes that I bought which fits my acting-rich image can't be worn.



*gentle smile*



*heehee*



*bends head down and look up with blinking eyes*



*smile without showing teeth*



*rebonds hair*



*plays piano*



PUKE.

Finally. The saga has ended.



We know now who Jeremy has chosen over me.



*baited breath*



All I can say is... Bleah. I shall say it again.



BLAH. BLEAH. GAG.



OMG my placenta. I puked it out again.



Big small caps! Grammar mistakes! "AstRoBoy"!



Ok I will shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW. Its Jeremy's choice and I wish him happiness.



Yeah right. Oh well. Maybe she is very caring. I may be really a sore loser, but I thought what goddess she would be. In the end...



BLAH. BLEAH. GAG.



I wish you eternal happiness with AstRoGirl. Or rather, Monkee gal I think.



WTF IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH MEN??? WHATS WRONG WITH ME?? WHY HER, over me!!! WHY??? CoZ I dOn'T wRitE liKe ThIs??



Pardon me now I shall stop blogging and go stab myself in the face.

Am sick la... Having a fever. caynt tpye proplerly.



Click here to have a good laugh though. Be sure to read everything, except the ads of course. Haha... It so funny...

To my Blogders, thank you for all the fantastic emails you guys have sent me. I may not have replied, but I assure you I read all of them.



Here are some of best mails which contributes a big load to my internet existence till now. You know who you are... =) If you don't like it published, please tell me, I will take it off yeah?



1)



Hey wendy,



I am an avid reader of your blog and have been for the past 7 to 9 months. I like your style of writing and how frank you are with your opinions. In such times, people like you are rare. In fact, your blog was and has always been one of the few blogs I look forward to reading everytime I log on. I started reading your blog when I was starting to get into the deepest depression of my life. Somehow, even how unrelated your life and my depression might be, be honoured to know that your dailiy accounts of people you met, fell in love with, quarrelled with, fought with have never failed to lift my spirits up. So, in a really weird way, I must thank you.



Thank you for being a "distraction" all these months. And i hope i get to read your blog again soon.

Take Care and Happy New Year!





Cheers!

Raiken





My response:



You are welcome, Raiken. Afterall all I did was to write out my life. The pleasure is all mine. =)



*****

2)



hey there. this is probably the thousandth mail that you're reading. anyway, i only stumbled upon your blog yesterday and imagine my shock when i read today that you were closing the blog down. guess i can understand your reasons. anyone who doesn't have half your strength of character would have left long ago and turn into some depressed whim but i can't see you being like that, gathering from what i read. true, i didn't agree with some things that you wrote and for a generally conservative person,i was quite shocked but darn, reading those entries really brought a smile. =) what really was compelling about you was your raw honesty. guess it worked in the negative for this, eh? then again, what matters most is that you stay true to yourself and the people you cherish most in your life. anyway, i'll end off with two great quotes.



Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

-Albert Einstein



Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

-Joshua J. Marine



have a nice day. here's wishing you all the best. stay cheerie kiex.



-syj.





I love the quotes. Thanks you so much. =)



*****



3)MY FAVOURITE!



Dear Xiaxue,



I am just a passerby who have recently discovered the world of livejournals. I chanced upon your site the last few days and found it very interesting. It gave me an insight into the young women of today and the window you opened for me is a very refreshing one. I don't see a shrinking violet or someone who is perpetually in a damsel-in-distress mode. Instead, I see a plucky and spunky individual with strong opinions. Mind you, I may not agree with everything you said but I prefer someone with a strong mind than those wishy-washy giggly "shunu" as you called them. There are far too many of them populating the earth. The worse thing is, there are many more idiots who fall for the cutsie acts.



And yes sweetheart, some men will always like "shunu", no matter how young or old. That is because anyone with opinions will be far too challenging for their ego. They do marry shunu but have affairs with someone like you [but you are too smart to grant them their fantasies] as shunus are at the end of the day - very sad and boring. I advise you to give up on those men.



The good thing is, there are many men out there who like intelligent, feisty chicks like you. You just have to look in the right place. I'm afraid, given what you have written, 'methinks' you have been shopping in the wrong department. I won't comment on those 'himbos' you have posted :-). I only have this to say - you deserve 10 times better - those guys are losers. Listen to your own blog and give men with 'brain' a bit more time.



I admit I do find you a bit "Ah lian" [now please spare me the expletives!! :-)] but that is precisely why you are so special. You may look a wee bit showy, your ideas and spirit is anything but "ah lian". You are in a class of your own - don't let anyone knock you down! [I should add that even if the pictures you posted are 80% true, you are still are an attractive sprite by any standards.] You are like a young wine, a bit rough at the edges but full of flavour and with the temperance of time - full of promise. See, I am a friend - so, don't go digging for my IP address and posting it all over your journal :-).



So - what's all this talk about closing down the blog just because an idiot has been giving you a hard time. You are just falling into his plan - as this is the result he wants to achieve sweetie. Now, recover your usual pluckiness - get back out there - do your usual two finger salute to these scum and *ignore* them.



You know full well that people come to your blog because they hear a fresh voice. The counter number speaks for itself. The hate mails could be motivated by pure jealousy - don't let these asses hound you out of town. This is not a matter of contest but a matter of you, xiaxue, standing up for yourself.



Don't be bullied - this is not your style. Get back your "Xena" spirit and banish those thugs from your kingdom.



Chin up and soldier on and continue to churn out your insane but entertaining blogs.



from a well-wisher,



fignationofyourimagiment



ps - this is the first time I've responded to a blog - see how effective you are?





I already wrote you my reply, but here it is again: Thank you. =))))

Here are some issues about men again.



Recently, while I have been working for Tiger Beer, I have met some really really irritating guys.



For example, there was this once I was working with this girl called June (she has huge boobs so lets call her Bigbreast June) and the usual June (Mediocre-sized but nice boobs) as well.



Then there was this big bunch of young guys sitting at the bar counter area. All three of us were speaking to the guys, when normal June left to serve other customers, leaving me and BB June to entertain them.



I was behaving in my normal chatty self and acting as if I knew them for a hundred years as usual. The guys said they wanted to got to Dbl O that night, and asked if the three of us would like to join them.



BP June said she would go if I go. I said I would go if June goes. June doesn't want to go.



So we are not going.



At the end of the night, the three of us finished changing and I was standing in between the two Junes when the group of guys approached us.



The apparent "leader" of them approached me first naturally, since he doesn't know the other two so well because he talked to me for a longer period of time. He tried to persuade me to go, and I told him there was no way I would go if June doesn't. I told him to convince June himself.



So he strided over to June... And asked for her number.



"Not fucking again," I thought. But its ok! Coz I have BB June standing right next to me without anyone getting her number either.



Precisely at this point of time someone asked for her number.



I stood stuck at the middle, with guys surrounding the females of both sides of me and playing with handphones, and I just wanted to kick everyone's balls.



Its not that I am interested in the guys. I am not jealous either. They are quite ugly. But its just really humiliating isn't it? Why are men so insensitive? What am I supposed to do standing there? I don't know what is the correct etiquette to practice here, coz certainly the guy would not ask for everyone's number right? *shrugs*



Similarly, if a guy wants to ask a girl for her number, and she is with a friend, isn't it really rude to totally ignore the friend while talking to the prettier girl (in most cases she is)? What is the friend supposed to do? Walk away? Why SHOULD she walk away for the guy's benefit? The correct thing to do here would be to give attention to both girls, right? Thats the smart thing to do, coz when the guy leaves, the (non selected) girl will go like, "Wow. He is so polite... He seems sincere in friendship and not just getting into your pants!"



Conversely, if a guy asks for my number while totally ignoring my friend who is with me, I am sorry. NO CHANCE. It shows untactfulness if not anything else.



When I was working at PLAB for Tiger beer with some other girls, there was this fellow whom I tried to pour beer for.



There I was, with perfectly good intentions of making his beer a nice, full cold one. He stopped me, and said, "I don't want you to pour. I want Jacqueline to pour for me. Only Jacqueline pours nice beers."



OH YEAH? What about I pour some sulfuric acid on your balls? THEN I get Jacqueline to pour it for you, asshole.



Its so totally INSENSITIVE isn't it? Of course it is perfectly natural to have perferences, but it is plain rude to say it out like this, no? Bloody arsehole. The next time I see him, I will ask Jac not to pour for him as well. He can jolly well order beer himself.



Today an old man infuriated me as well.



I was working at Chong Pang camp, with June. Usually its June and this other girl called Kim who works there, so the people there, although some remember me, are more accustomed to June and Kim.



The bloody ticopehs (chinese horny uncles) there always ask for June's and Kim's numbers, and when June and Kim are not interested (they can be old enough to be their fathers!), they would do a very nice thing. They would give them Bobby's number.



Now Bobby is our Tiger Beer boss, and he is a lao beng. He is loud and crass, but also really cute and funny, to us girls only of course. I will post his photo soon if I can.



Imagine the surprise of the men when they happily called, and heard Bobby's loud voice. Bobby's favourite sentence is "Don't be a kan ni na!". We tried to explain to him that "kan ni na" is a verb not a noun, but he told us not to be a kan ni na and shut up.



Today, there was this old guy who was sitting beside Bobby (I keep spelling Booby), and he was talking about the Tiger girls. I was standing inside the bar listening to them talk.



The old guy asked how come Kim didn't come today. Bobby said Kim is busy or something, and the fellow suddenly sounded quite pissed and smacked the table.



"Don't talk about Kim already la! I very angry with her!"



Bobby, "Why leh?"



"I asked for her number, and you know what she do?"



"What?"



"She gave me YOUR number!"



I laughed and laughed till my placenta dropped out. Actually I didn't, coz I can't. I muffled a laugh while Bobby said:



"Huh? Why she do that... Aiyoh..."



Whahahaha... Bobby himself told June and Kim to give his number if people bother them, and now he acting blur.



Then Bobby said, "Never mind, here got Wendy what..."



I gave Bobby a very vicious look and kicked him in the balls.



Actually I didn't.



But do you know what the fucked up fellow said??!



"Wendy? I not interested in Wendy."



WHAT THE FUCK HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN ME? LOOK AT HIS FUCKED UP WRINKLED FACE I AM NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN HIM AS WELL HE HAS AS MANY WRINKLES AS MOTHER TERESA AND THE SEX APPEAL OF A ROTTEN BULL TESTICLE LOR KNN, NOT INTERESTED IN ME SIA! Bloody hell fucked up old man.



I turned purple, and Bobby, sensing danger, said, "Actually Wendy is a very nice girl..."



I said really sascastically, "Nice no use what... Not pretty enough."



The fellow seems to know that he really pissed me off, so he said,

"No la.. Its not I not interested..

(Yeah right, fuck you. hate people who patronise me.)

Its that I got no time...."



I said, "Yeah no time for me coz I not as pretty as Kim mah."



He said, "No la... No time for Kim or for you or for anyone..."



I could have asked him to explain how can he not have time if



1) he actually had time to call.

2) he is just drinking and rotting away here anyway, every single Friday.

3) No time ask her number for what?

4) time for what? Fucking? Starting a relationship when u are 45 with a 19 yr old girl? Oh he has time. Who else wants him?



The argument could have gone on forever, but its useless arguing with a retard coz they also give irrelevant answers.



Sorry, I need to digress a little.



About retards. Why are some people so fucking stupid??! So many people got themselves pissed over the post about giving up seats. I have never mentioned that I am unwilling to give my seat to the elderly or pregnant ladies. I ALWAYS do that. My point is that people who are less abled should NOT take for granted people give them seats, like the fucked up bitch who was openly insulting me for merely not seeing her.



See? Stupid people miss the point, and find another non-existent point, and think they are damn smart. Cannot stand it.



An example is this:



If I said, "Today I didn't wear a bra. I wore a woolly black top which is quite loose. I didn't wear a bra because I have a cut where the bra strap would hit. Instead, I wore 3 singlets inside. I almost scalded to death."



Stupid people's brain process:

Never wear bra --> can see nipples ---> Trying to attract men --> What for? --> Cheat men's money, whats new --> Sleep with them --> Slut! --> Xiaxue is a slut! --> I wonder why I am repeating sec 3 the 3rd time --> But she is still a slut. --> Slut. --> Whore. --> Fucking bitch.



And etc.



No point correcting, or arguing with dumb people.



Back to the point about men. I also hate guys who ask me to ask for my friend's number. Just fucking do it yourself can? WHY should I help??



Ok I am done with the men point.



Lets go on to nice people.



Yesterday, I left my two hps in the toilet. A kind lady went into my cubicle, rushed out, caught me at the washing area, and gave me back two of the phones.



WHAT ON EARTH? I was ultra nice to everyone after that. June wanted to buy a top but it is 49 and too expensive so I sponsored 10 bucks. (But actually June bought me a skirt too) That lady is a god. She is too good to be true.



I told myself that the next time I find phones, I will return it to the owner. UNLESS.. Its a 8910. Coz it might be mine!



I was buying Ramily burger (its really really nice!!!) from a pasar malam when I realised I don't have enough money to pay! I only had $1.20 and the burger is $2.50. Really embarrassed, I told the little Malay boy that he can give the burger to the next customer coz I don't have enough. He insisted I have it, coz I mentioned that I am hungry and I love their burgers. His treat, he said. SO SWEET........!



I was late for meeting June, and I was at the bus stop when I realised I forgot to draw money so I only have 50 cents, not enough for taking a bus to meet her. I had to walk a long way to the atm, only to realise that the atm does not dispense ten dollar notes so I can only draw 50.



Amount exceeds bank account balance.



I walked dejectedly to the bus stop and bo pian (=no choice) had to ask an old lady for 30 cents so I am take a bus, or June will kill me and the bus stop is really far from home...



The auntie gave me a "Fuck off la you cheatabug I have seen many people like you around" look and said curtly she does not have change.



I was thus forced to approach a Malay uncle sitting on the next seat. I think he overheard the conversation (although he possibly cant understand chinese but body language says it all), and without me mentioning anything just took out his wallet and asked me how much I need.



Nice, or what?



I know this guy called Alvin when I was working at Tekong. It started out really normal, asking for my number and smsing. So far, we have been meeting quite often, and we have been to Mount Faber in the dead of the night, and I have even been to his place. But he never once attempted to touch me.



Guys like him are one in a million.



I suppose you would know for sure a guy is REALLY liking you when he behaves like Alvin does. He has been driving me around, and treating me here and there, listening to me complain, have me asked him to go and die a million times, but he is still HERE.



Girls, you know a guy likes you really, when he is so careful with the friendship that he knows that any physical mistake will jeopardise everything. So he would rather just not have you as a gf, then to risk losing such a valuable friendship.



=D Thank you Alvin.



Singaporeans are really not that bad afterall!