On Sunday, June 22, 2003, I wrote:

For 3 days of the 6 days we are working, we have to wake up at 6 am coz some rich company is hosting a 3 day conference at Ritz for itz employees. Breakfast everyday.

On Thursday, June 19, 2003, I wrote:

So Pantene, Vidal Sassoon, H & S, Ascend and Rejoice all have a fair share of the market for their different target audience? Yeah right. They all belong to this disgustingly big company called Procter and Gamble. P & G. I know coz I once worked for them as a shampoo promoter. The building is so disgustingly big, and they are earning so much, that they can afford big plush cushions everywhere and a few playstations laying around for its employees to relax. Relax of course... Money is rolling in, why bother?





P & G not only semi-monopolises the shampoo market. Whisper and Pringles belong to them too. Among other household items.

Today, June 26, 2003, I am very very tired coz of the stupid functions going on at the Ritz. I was wrong about just breakfast everyday. This group of guests have breakfast at 7am, coffee break at 10am, lunch at 1am, tea break at 3pm and dinner at 7pm.



When they finished their breakfast, we have to clear their used plates and set it again for them for the next eating session, at the same tables. 2 knives, 3 forks, one spoon, one coffee cup, one coffee saucer, one teaspoon, one big plate, one small plate, one napkin and one butter knife for EACH guest. Imagine the stupid amount of work we do!



Thats not counting walking in and out to get their drinks for them, setting up the buffet table, and pouring coffee.



I hate the job! It is so freaking tiring. So tiring that I am gonna sleep without blogging about Harry Potter, thus also making me very lagging in the current blog trend, dammit.



And u guessed which filthy rich company has booked Ritz Carlton for 3 whole days, inclusive of rooms for the guests. 350 guests!



Lets do the math shall we?



1 room = $175



Say 3 guests stay in a room.



$175 X (350/3) X 3 days: $60,900.



Breakfast: Let it be complimentary for the mass amount spent on room.



Lunch, booked Ritz Carlton's expensive Snappers restaurant. Which means the restaurant can't earn money for 3 days!



Minimum, one table $500.

Booked 35 tables: $500 X 35 tables X 3 days = $52,500.



Dinner, English set, at the Grand Ballroom.



Minimum one table $1,000.

$1,000 X 35 tables X 3 days = $105,000.



2/3 of the guests flew in from other countries.



Minimum air ticket price for each employee: $300



$300 X 350 = $105,000.



We have not included stuff like booking the grand ballroom for its conferences and the other activities the company no doubt planned for the employees.



The total amount is an obscene $323,400! It doesn't look obscene enough. Lets triple the price coz I'm sure theres some hidden cost. $972,200!!!!



Actually it is still not very obscene lar. It can just buy a car for some of us (can it? I dunno..) but for P & G, it is just a puny amount isn't it?



Dammit, I think God reads my blog, not that I believe in his existence. Now I know cannot talk bad about ppl liao, it will come back as retribution! The staff of P & G are simply torturing me!



Some silly woman asked for a sliver of lemon today.



"Excuse me, can I have a piece of lemon please?"



What the fuck u want the fucking lemon for? My legs gonna break liao lar! Eat one less lemon will die ah! Nope, I'm not gonna go trouble myself to get it for you! The money ur company is paying me is not enough for me to go take a lemon for you! No, I'm not gonna take it!



"Sure mam. How many pieces do you want?"



"Just a few slices will do."



Fuck you.



"Alright I will get it for you in a minute's time."



"Thank you."



Rot in hell for asking for that lemon!



"Its my pleasure, mam."



With that I had to find a chef, face his sulky face as he finds a lemon, wait for him in the very hot kitchen as he cuts it, and walk a very very long distance to give it to her. When I came back, everyone blames me coz I disappeared for so long and they needed help with the plates.



All for her piece of lemon. I feel like stuffing it all up her nostrils!



Now u know never to ask ur waiter for lemons for other funny items for that matter!



Let me now educate u guys on proper waiter etiquette, just in case I serve u in future.



- When u put ur fork and knife/spoon on ur plate side by side neatly, it means u dun want ur food. When we take it away and u still want it, u might just happen to put the last straw on ur waiter's (it shld be camel's) back. He might holler at u and say that u have no idea of table manners at all. That might embarrass you. So if u still want ur food, place the fork and spoon ON the plate, but both at different sides.



- Stop fucking talking and talking and eat ur bloody food! You have no idea, but ur slow eating makes it such that the next dish cannot be served till u finished, and thus everyone must wait for you. You also make ur waiter feel very stressed coz he is slooooow............. And the manager will scccccccccccold!



- Some people just dun like their glasses to be half empty. Like drink water, drink till the end kinda thing. Please dun be stupid. The waiter will just keep refilling it; it will never be empty. And thats irritating for both u and the waiter. I suggest u bring ur own water bottle of course.



Please drink with patience too. If u are an Indian, I would like to say that orange is good for health. So do savour those vitamins Cs. If u are an CEO, coke kills sperms, as if u are not impotent enough.



Every waiter hates refilling drinks.



- The little bowl at the side in chinese dinners is for the NOODLES. If u want to use it to eat, please DUN BE SO STUPID and put bones/prawn shells etc in it! Leave the trash on ur plate and ur waiter will clear it in a jiffy. If u put it in the bowl and ur waiter didn't notice, imagine the trouble he has to go though when he wants to serve the noodles in the bowl for you and find all bones inside instead. He has to go look for a solitary bowl. Thats troublesome!



And as if it is not enough, everyone will curb their eating till you get ur noodles, coz it is impolite to eat first. So the whole table would be very slow again and ur waiter would get scolded.



- Did u know that the bar only has soft drinks? If u ask for plain water, the waiter possibly has to go further (into the kitchen) to get it for you. I'm not saying u dun drink plain water of course. It all depends on the situation. If u think ur waiter has a sulky face, and u want to get rid of him for a longer time, ask him to take plain water for u.



However be prepared that he might spit into ur drink.



- Please do not ask approximately 586 waiters to get ur drink for u. Imagine when they all arrive with the same drink! Everyone wasted their time, and the 585 extra drinks will be poured onto ur head.



- The napkin is meant to be on ur lap. If u insist on throwing it on the floor, I hope the sweet and sour pork falls on ur new pants/dress.



- DO NOT ASK THE WAITRESS IF SHE IS A MALAYSIAN/CHINA GIRL/BURMESE! IT IS RUDE!



- Slap ur kid when u kid calls a waitress who is 19 "auntie".



- Do not ask ur stupid items like lemons, diet coke, straws, ice cubes, bananas, eggs, butter, tongs etc etc. U will get spit on it.



- Praise the waitress and invite her to eat the clean leftovers on the platter when u can't finish it. She deserves it for slogging for you.



Oh no it is so late. I am not gonna edit for grammar mistakes.



More blogging tml!



Good night everyone!

I am too tired to blog. I only slept 2 hours yesterday! In fact, I met up with Bernard for dinner and when he sent me home on his bike, I actually fell asleep and dropped to the side, causing the bike to lean to the side as well. Very dangerous indeed. I think I would have killed both of us. He got very anxious and kept scolding me.



Tml I will write about what everyone else is writing about. Harry potter of course. I actually bought the book okie! Alright nights everyone. Gosh I am so so so tired.



Muacks to everyone who is nice!

Theres alot to touch up on the webbie. I am supposed to reply to my readers' comments, repair that photo thingy, change the Mondor to Mordor, amongst other stuff.



But I just got back from work, and tml I will have to wake up at 530 am to work at Ritz for some breakfast thingy. And I got stuff to blog about.



I guess I shld start with lamenting first coz only after complaining can I feel better and I will be able to talk about the happy stuff. Oh gosh I really shld be sleeping.



Alright. It is like this. Some 6 months ago, me, June and Clara went for an interview at the Pan Pacific Hotel for the post of banquet waitresses.



June worked with me for a day and she decided the plates are a little too heavy for her liking. Thus she decided not to work anymore.



In the wake of her resignment, I had to suffer. I worked without her, and everytime I worked, dozens of guys would come and talk to me. The typical conversation goes like this:



Cheehong Guy: "Hello, u new here ah? Whats ur name?"



Me: "Yeah, second day lor. I'm Wendy."



Cheehong Guy: "Oh, so whats ur friend's name ah? The tall tall one. Very chio one."



Me: "You talking about June?"



Cheehong Guy: "Yeah yeah June!"



In the first place if u know her name why the fuck are u asking me?!



Cheehong Guy: "So how old are u? Studying?"



Me: "19, Sp."



Cheehong Guy: "And the June?"



Me: "Same."



Cheehong Guy: "She attached or not ah? Can gimme her number?"



Me: "She is attached. (June was attached then)"



Cheehong Guy: "Still can give number what."



Me: "No, I dun think she is interested in you."



Cheehong Guy: "..."



This situation is relatively irritating. There u go thinking this fellow is sincerely getting to noe you better as purely a colleague, and suddenly u realised his intentions was just to get into ur friend's pants. In this case, my friend's banquet skirt and panty hose. And then it hurts to think that this fellow would not even have talked u to if u didn't have a pretty friend. How sickening!



It is not that I would have liked the fellow to come and ask for my number instead or anything like that. No. I wun like Ah bengs coming to disturb me. But thats besides the point. I just dun think I am that much uglier than June, am I? I think that at least I shld have like 5% of the guys interested in me instead of her? Just 5% of ppl with different taste?



But no. Everyone thinks Fann wong is prettier than Patricia Mok. I feel pissed that I am Patricia Mok and theres nothing I can do about it.



Bleah. Some ppl might think I am crazy of course. I think I am too, coz no one else seems to agree with the way I feel. Everyone thinks that I just feel pissed coz I think that I am prettier than June. Thats not true of course. I also dunno why I feel pissed. Maybe it is coz too many guys keep pestering me about her.



Besides that, its like, are guys all so superficial? Are looks just everything to them? Urgh. I can't seem to be able to blog out my words properly.



I hope u all understand what I mean.



This situation happened when the fifth guy came to ask me for her number. I am serious, really fifth. I bellowed all the frustrations the previous 4 guys gave me at the sodding piece of desperate shit. Oops. So mean to that guy. Maybe he is just sincerely interested to be friends. Yeah right.



Oh no I totally feel like slapping him currently. With a piece of smelly wet sock. No, actually I think a llama's raw liver would be a good thing to slap him with. I shall slap myself instead I think. Ow. Hurts.



Situation, (real):

Cheehong guy 5: "Yadda yadda the usual shit."



Me, in chinese, of course: "Why are u all guys so bloody superficial? Yeah she very pretty, so what? What makes u think she will be interested to know you since she is so pretty, huh? Fucking cheehong right, just wanna try your luck izzit? I already said she is attached, why u still so persistent on wanting her number? She and her bf together 3 years liao, u dun even think about it lor."



Cheehong guy 5: "Wah, so angry for what. Who say want to be together with her? Just ask number be friends cannot meh? Attached already cannot make friends issit? And it is none of ur business what."



Me: "What none of my business? So many of u come ask me for her number, I buay sian one ah? What am I, Fast Talk hotline? Yeah yeah make friends my FOOT. Your friends need to be chio one ah, huh? Friends ugly cannot ah? Why dun go outside ask the auntie to be ur friend? Why must June? On her forehead write 'I will be a very good friend' izzit?!"



Cheehong guy 5, stupid and irrelevant as usual when Ah Bengs lose an argument: "Wah lan eh she look friendly what-"



Yeah look so friendly go approach her urself, stop asking me for her number.



"Siao u so angry for what? U jealous no one ask for ur number izzit? Your attitude like that, its no wonder no one interested in you lar."



Personal attack. Wonderful. As if my ego is not hurt as it is. With that sentence, he turned his heel and walked off, without giving me a chance to say that I am not interested in any stupid banquet guys who are freaking cheehong and as if that is not bad enough, have brain cells of amoebas.



The guys at Ritz Carlton are slightly better. They are less Cheehong, and they are friendly. I thought by bringing Xf into work with me, I would get the June situation again and agitate myself to death.



But this time, I told myself that indeed, June and XF are both much more attractive than me. It is no wonder at all that at first glance, guys would be interested in them. Maybe I have some other qualities that will be better appreciated than them when the guys know me better. Stop feeling so bitter.



Ah... Its is a totally different feeling at Ritz with XF. I get along very well with the guys indeed. I joke around, and try to make everyone laugh. Almost everyone knows my name, and I know for one thing that they are ok with my company.



I find this weird though. Here I am, joking around with, say, a male colleague. He is talking to me, he is giving his attention to me. But at the end of the day, he is attracted to the quiet gal standing silently beside me, also smiling at my joke. Thats Xf of course.



What, a clown doesn't need TLC? Of course, for very old blog readers (or super avid readers who read the archives), this is going back to the shu nu issue again. (shu nu= that kinda girl. Quiet, no opinions, long rebonded hair, big big eyes etc etc. You get the picture.)



Guys like that kinda girl. They wouldn't like their gf getting along so well with so many guys. I thought I read somewhere that guys like girls with a sense of humour? I think that sentence is flawed. Guys like girls who will laugh at their jokes, not girls who make the joke in the first place.



When girls joke around too much with guys, the guy will think of the girl as a buddy, not as a partner. Sure they would like that girl's company, but not as a gf please. They would want someone more gentle and feminine.



I feel rather sad. I can be gentle. Really. Surprise surprise, I actually know how to knit! I am feminine too! My favourite colour is pink and I like lace.



Too bad no one believes me.



I am not saying that no one likes me of course. I know most ppl, after reading this whole chunk, would typically say: "Dun worry, I'm sure you will find someone who likes u for who u are someday."



Shut it. I know its all goodwill, but I dun need that kinda pity. I have my admirers too. I am just lamenting that most guys like that typical kinda girl. Seems like alot of guys I like like that kinda girls. Eddy is surely drooling over Jolin Tsai's photo right now.



I'm pissed with that fact coz I just dun see whats so attractive about shu nus. But then again whats so attractive about noisy girls who keep yakking?



From now on I shall just wear Giordano clothes and speak less than 500 words a day. I shall throw away all my strapless bras so I cannot wear anything that requires strapless bras. I shall throw away my make up kit, except for that sweet pink lip gloss of course, strawberry flavoured. I shall carry tissue everywhere I go. I shall dye my hair black. I shall rebond it.



My voice cannot be louder than 0.0736 decibels. My clothes can only be white and baby blue.



Thou shalt not bitch anymore. Thou shalt not talk about sex. Thou shalt not even think about sex.



If I accomplish the above, I will become like Gollum. I will have a split personality. U will see my evil horny self talking to my shu nu self sometimes, coz the horny evil self is too suppressed.



Shu nu self to bf who like shu nus: "Oh darling, I think the air con in ur room is not working. I am feeling very hot. Are u hot as well?"



-suddenly gentle voice deepens to a low husky sexy voice-



Evil horny self: "oh man I feel so hot....... You know, like, so HOT... I need to take off this stupid baby blue top. And this stupid bra...."



*throws the bra at horrified bf's head*



Evil Horny self: "Oh man... Would u just come here, baby? And bring the cane with you..."



-Gentle voice resumes-



Shu nu self: "Oh man why am I naked?" *shields breasts with hands, totally perified. Picks up bra from bf's head and put it on* "what happened???!"



Bf: "U took it off urself!"



Shu nu self: "NO I DIDN'T! Why would I do that!"



BF: "LOL. Role playing izzit? Dun act shy lar, I kinda liked that HOT part...."



Evil horny self: "Teeheehee"



*****



Alright after blogging everything out I feel happy again!



Today is the dinner of the Associated Banks of Singapore. The guest of honour is Nathan! And everyone who attended the dinner are all general managers and above working at the banks in Singapore.



I think bankers all have a very typical sort of look! The boring old man kind with specs and semi grey hair. I tried to get a sugar daddy but it seems like I failed.



Anyway James Lye attended the dinner as well. He is quite shuai.



Did u know what CEOs like to drink coke? LOL... I had noticed the kinda drink that the different crowds like. Indian ppl like Orange crush, out of a choice of Coke, Sprite and Orange.



Nobody likes Sprite. Chinese ppl like a mixture of all, but many like just plain water. No malay weddings at Ritz so far.



So if u like Orange, u are an Indian. If u like Coke, u will possibly be a CEO. If u like sprite, u are a nobody. Stop being an outcast.



Personally I like Orange. LOL... From now on I shall only drink coke, coz CEOs all love coke. I am serious! Around 70% of them drank coke.



Enough blogging. I have only 2 hours to sleep, god dammit.

For the next few days till the 27th, I will be working at Ritz. Thats right, every single day starting from today. Xf predicts we will all die. She is a pessimistic girl. I look on the brighter side. I predict we will get ard $250 bucks after working there. No we wun die. We just wun have a life.



For 3 days of the 6 days we are working, we have to wake up at 6 am coz some rich company is hosting a 3 day conference at Ritz for itz employees. Breakfast everyday.



$250 is a relatively big amount of money, ain't it? If u are one of those extremely rich ppl who says no, please do marry me. A measly $250 a day for pocket money and I will be very happy.



Is money all you care about?!! No. What about sex? And food. And clothes. Wow. I sound totally materialistic. Erm, I do care about the beautiful things in life too! Like the ocean and rainbows and LV bags.



Anyway, yesterday was EK's bdae! PY, XF, Ghimz, Ek, Bixian and I went to Fort Canning to watch Fellowship of the rings, and the Two Towers. (Bixian is a secondary school friend as well.)



For those who have no idea why Fort Canning is having movies screened, well it is part of a movie fest. Watch movies under the stars on a vast field with ur picnic basket. You look excited to go. Sorry. Yesterday last day liao.



It is not as good as we thought. Sure enough, it was under the stars. But then again thousands of ppl are sharing the measly stars with you. And it is hot. Vast the field is. But then again thousands of ppl are sharing the field with you. And it is hot.



And the people in the front and the back were irritating.



It was like this. We came in rather late, so we had to find a place to squeeze in. EK found this spot big enough to put our mats. So there we stayed.



I took a picture of the ppl in front. I am not that bo liao to take their photo lar. It just happened that I was trying to show u guys how the screen looked like.







I think the guy seems to look quite shuai leh. It would seem as if the two ppl are a couple but no! They came in a double date. The gal in black, her bf is lying down and he is wearing yellow.



The guy is hugging his gf.



I personally think the four have orgies. Sometimes the white tee guy would (when they are lying side by side) turn and talk to the black blouse girl. It looks very wrong.



Both the gfs are bitches.



Actually, erm, we are the bitches lar. Coz we kept talking throughout the show. Can't help it. XF, in the middle of Two Towers, still did not know who Aragorn (which human guy? The Liv Tyler boyfriend ah?) is. EK doesn't know Mordor is home to Sauron (who sauron?).



So the enlightened bookworms (PY and Bixian) had to keep explaining the plots to the confused. But the enlightened bookworms were more caught in discussions of their own. Discussions that go beyond LOTR. I think they discussed History of Middle earth or some other book that Tolkien wrote. How revolting!



So Xf and Ek and Ghimz turned to me for explanations. I am quite okie. I read from The Hobbit till 3/4 of Two Towers. But basically during half of the explanations I would get lost.



Eg:

XF: Whats those things that Saruman made? The disgusting army.



Me: Oh, its a new breed between Orcs and Humans.



XF: Then how are they born? No females one meh.



Me: Uh.. I dunno... Asll Bixian.



Ghim: Did Arwen and Aragorn get together in the end?



Me: Yeah. They became the third couple in the whole history of Middle earth to have an inter-racial marriage.



Ghim: Then their baby is what race? Immortal or not?



Me: I dunno. Ask Bixian.



Hahaha... The double dating couple in front kept saying sascastic things to themselves, eg: "DO WE NEED A NARRATOR?"



We still didn't shut up. In fact, there was no leg room and we hoped that by talking more we can make them go away.



The gal in black keep complaining about us to her bf. The usual fucked-up kinda girl. If she wants to complain about us, say it in our faces lor. Only know how to hide behind the bf. The bf was enjoying the movie fine, possibly understanding it clearer than ever with Bixian's detailed research done on the topic, but according to Bixian who was directly behind the yellow guy, "He was okie until that girl started to scream like a Banshee."



So the guy turned about and asked us to shut up.



We ended up giggling.



Okie about the ppl behind.







Once again, I was trying to capture the crowd instead of the fellow's knee. But apparently it did not occur to my small brain that a small Cybershot U20's flash is not strong enough to light up that field.



So I captured his knee big and clear.



We hate the people at the back even more. They insisted on lying down, so apparently they cannot see the screen since we are sitting up.



We would have preferred to lie down, except for two reasons.



1) The people in front are sitting up coz the people in front of them are sitting up. The people in front of the people in front were sitting up coz their mat is very small and they have no place to lie down.



2) We do not have space to lie down as well.



They basically kept grumbling and grumbling. 3 adult men, insisting on lying down like wet socks instead of sitting up. And they blame us.



Amidst their complains, those that we heard are: "We didn't pay $14 to just come here to look at heads."



"6 heads of Mordor." *snicker snicker* wow what a funny joke.



"Wah lau, see fuck ah."



The fellow looking like an ape asked us to lie down. I told him that the people in front are sitting up, we must sit up as well, if not we will be blocked.



PY said that even if we lie down they will still be blocked by the ppl in front.



The fellow is freaking irrelevant. He replied that he and his friends came so early at 6 pm (we came at 745) to book this very good spot, and suddenly our gang came in and squeezed in front of them.



Too bad it is free seating. It is nobody's but his own fault for being so stupid to leave a big gap in the middle for us to be able to squeeze in.



I told him that if he doesn't want anyone to block his way he should have chosen a seat all the way in front. That way no one can block him.



Bixian said that if they sat up they would have been able to see the screen. Instead, they had to choose to lie there like indolent courtesans. (I dun think I spelt it correct, but it sounded like this one. Bixian said it is spanish.)



The guy paused. He didn't know wtf an indolent courtesan meant of course.



It means lying down in a very luxurious and flamboyant kinda way, the way old empresses used to lie smoking their opium.





The picture is the closest I could get.



The guy, after turning to his buddies for help hoping someone can help counter Bixian (which no one could), mumbled to himself: "What nonsense."



He proceeded to lie down again like an indolent courtesan.



After this we whispered to Bixian to ask her to tell us what she meant. We all burst out laughing.



They insisted on lying down for the rest of the movie. I suppose something must be really wrong with their brains and spines. They have enough of looking at our backs, so they ended up leaving in the middle of Two Towers.



We moved our mat into the empty space now behind us. We have space to stretch our legs to lie down comfortably, and also we are further from the ppl in front so we can talk as much as we want.



See? Everyone is happy. They shld have left long ago. 6pm till 1am is a long enough time to stay.



What do u mean the world doesn't revolve around me? It does too.



*****



Bdae girl!





In case u are wondering, yes, we did buy the Pucca hairband and make EK wear it.

Lets start with the usual crap, which nobody is interested in.



I got good hair day today!





You tear ur hair and and scream: WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR GOOD HAIR DAY! TELL ME ABOUT SEX! (or weather in the case of Eccentric Eddy.)



Please understand to me the good hair day records are very important. In future, I intend do a research on the percentage of good hair day in my permed hair life. I have also found a trend. Good hair days always come when u dun need them. Eg today, the good hair day was not fully appreciated at all by any males I intend to attract.



Not that males can tell the difference between a good and bad hair day anyway.



But thats not the point. The point is, PY and Xf have all seen me thru my RV years when I looked hideous. They dun give a hoot about how I look like. I still look like shit to them anyway. Ek says the initial image cannot be washed away.



Now I met up with James yesterday and I had a bad hair day. Whats worse is, I met one of his friends too, Darren. He reads my blog (I think.) So he saw me with Filipino quality hair. Wonderful. Now he possibly thinks I photoshop my hair to be curly in my pics.



Okie I shut up. About today:

I met up with PY and XF and Yvonne and Geok Ling to shop. (Yvonne and GL are both our primary school friends.)



We planned to go to Orchard at first. But we got excited at the absolutely new North East line! So we alighted and went to Habourfront.







It is nothing interesting.



Me and PY wore furry hairbands! XF refuses to wear one.







Anyway, Enormous EK the Expensive lawyer wanted to meet us to go as well. But we refused to let her come. The reason? We were shopping for her bdae prezzie.



Thats right, today is her bdae!



(to the rest of the blog readers: you all will not be able to understand the following chunk.)

I can't bring myself to say mushy things to u, EK! But I guess throughout these 6 yrs, you have been a really wonderful friend.



No, I'm not patronising you.



I think I totally disliked u the first time I noticed you. Ahem, standing beside me during assembly in the next class with the crew cut. Always talking so loud, hahaha. Trying to attract attention of course.



I think you totally disliked me the first time u noticed me too. Short girl trying to act ah lian with the furry scrunchie on the wrist, and talking loudly as well. Trying to attract attention too, just using a different method.



It didn't occur to us then that we shld talk loudly to EACH OTHER, to irritate everyone else huh? Wahahha.. Alright, so we landed up in the same class two years later.



Remember when Liye was still around? As in around in S'pore, not that she is dead or something. There was this time when I made XF and Liye angry, and they kicked me outta the gang? Ahhh... I remember Liye was terribly cruel. There was this project grouping list on the noticeboard, and she took a red pen to cancel my name out.



No group to join.



The Ah Lian group in class expelled me. Suddenly I am a class outcast. XF refuses to speak to me.



Thank you, to u and SR and the rest, for allowing me into your clique when I most needed friends for support. I totally enjoyed the very different kinda company. You guys made me laugh at the absurdity of the situation, even joked about Liye and her childish vindictive behaviour then.



I can totally picture the last table in the canteen with the malay store and us sitting there!



When XF and Liye decided they shld forgive me, a clique dilemma happened. Although it is my fault in making XF and Liye angry, shld I lower myself after the hurt and insults Liye did to me and go back to her gang? Isn't it very hypocritical of me to just make use of u, sr and the rest to be there for me when they abandon me, and leave you guys when they want me back?



The solution is to merge the two cliques of course. Secondary schools days never got better, agreed? =)



It takes alot to bring 2 very different ppl like us together. I dunno what it is too. I shall take it that our common intelligence, ahem.



Although you have never been a friend whom I would call to cry to unlike XF, I think it is good enough that u have always been there during the good times to make it so much more enjoyable with all your corniness.



We have never thanked you for the good tempers you constantly had these 6 years. (Unlike Giordano gal, last time a bit only angry. LOL. Now she is better, thanks to Leonard training.) We have never thanked you for the constant smiles. You have never taken us for granted, while we abused your friendship; being late, being grouchy and all.



Thank you for being there all this while. I know you will be there loyally if I need you. Although that might be because you got nowhere to go anyway. But still thank you for having nowhere to go then.



Thank you for happening to dislike everyone I dislike. Like Rongshan, Hui fen, Qingyue, Shi hua etc etc, except Evelyn Tan.



Thank you for all the macdonald coupons.



Whatever it is, it is all stable. I do believe that the friendship will be here to stay, for life. It better stay, for me to make full use of a lawyer friend! I like the idea that ur mum cannot do anything about it that I have became ur lifelong friend, heehee.



I have watched you grow from a RV student playing the Bassoon with a uniform too long for you, to an RJ student getting 4 As, to now, a future lawyer. Judging from the pattern, you will totally succeed in life! Just intro the successful cute guys to me!



Alright enough mush already. Happy birthday! WE LOVE YOU, EE KEAN, despite us being so jealous of ur big assets!



I shall publish ur act cool pic again to make u happy.





Happy happy birthday celebration with us today! We will rot under the stars watching LOTRs.

Oh no I didn't have time to blog yesterday. Lets start now.



Yesterday:

I got a shock when I reached Jurong east mrt.







Have u seen a more successful basker? Or are ppl at Jurong really so damn bo liao?



Recently I keep getting traumatized by ex boyfriends. You know June and I, we have alot of lesbian photos.







But I have never expected anyone to actually believe that she and I are lesbian partners. Well, stupidity is the only thing on earth that is really limitless.



I saw one of my exs quite some time ago at a Levi's store. The only thing I could remember about him is that he studied at Bedok ITE. And that I got together with him coz he stays very near my old house at Queenstown. He broke off with me coz he said that I was a little too ugly for him.



Aha. He is no hunk either. Oh yeah I forgot. Lets laugh at his cheesy name together. Shui Xiang. If ur name happens to be Shui Xiang too, I suggest u laugh at urself too, coz it is really funny. Anyway, he saw me at the Levi's store like 3 years after our adolescent affair.



My hair is longer, my pimples are gone, my double eyelids are miraculously there suddenly, I am taller coz I am wearing heels, and most importantly, I got make up on.



He took a look at me. I tried to siam. He took a second look and called out my name uncertainly. And then he started to look real excited and asked me for my number. He was not one to mince words. He said, "You got boyfriend now?"



I said I am attached. He asked me who my bf is. I said inside, changing.



June was trying the Levi's Type One jeans in the fitting room.



He said, "Oh..." and walked off a little, talking to his friend.



I sms-ed June to tell her to pretend to be lesbians with me. She sashayed outta the fitting room and gave me a hug, asking me "Dear, nice not?"



I smiled sweetly and said yes.



He looked so damn shocked. LOLz... Afterwards, he kept sms-ing me to ask me to patch with him but I told him not to sms me coz my gf is angry liao. Wahhahahaha! And he believed me!



Yesterday I saw him again when I board the mrt at Jurong east. I semi-freaked out, but he discovered me first, so there was no hiding. He started sweet talk and suddenly, he talked about our past. I totally freaked out. I told him that my friend was meeting me at the next mrt stop, Buona Vista, so I have to get off, see him again.



And I got off. Where got ppl so stupid one? Lesbians and both look like total females? Possible, but very rare. And 'lesbianic' when 3 years ago I was a normal girl liking guys?



After this I proceeded to watch The Hulk with James. OMG, please DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW! Heed my advice, u wun regret it. I'm gonna talk about it. I dun care if I will spoil it for you, coz it can't be worse than it already is.



It is bad enough that the fella is a disgusting green. He looks like an over-ripe pistachio nut. I would like to mention that I personally call that nut Pikachu nut. Ain't i cute? LOL. Oh yeah where was I? Oh the movie is bad enough.



What is worse? THERE WERE ABSOLUTELY NO SEX SCENES! Can u believe the atrocious-ness of it! Ppl would tend to compare Hulk with the last Single Marvel hero show I guess. Thats Spiderman. No sex scenes! No Kristen Durst in transparent white tee shirt kissing, oh wait, a hulk?



The female is relatively ugly. I have this thing against Angmohs with black hair. I tink they look very evil. And she has this big mole on her chin. I dun like big moles on chins. And her boobs aren't 1/37359 as nice as Kristen's. WTF.



The lead guy has a flabby jawline, and bad complexion. He shld become the Hulk all the time. Suddenly complexion become so good.



Whats worse about the lead guy is that he wears very big purple underwear. The Hulk knows he is gonna become a giant and that his clothes will split, leaving him with only his underwear. Why HE STILL WEAR PURPLE!! Doesn't he knooooooooow that purple and green dun go together???! No wonder there were no sex scenes! It is such a turn off! But then again what kinda colours can go with green? Thank goodness we are not green.



13/15 of the show featured the scientific part of the how the Hulk became the Hulk. Which is BORING! Who cares about Nanomeds (what nanomeds?!) and gamma rays? There were no sex scenes! (Is sex all that u care about?! Yes.)



1/15 of the show featured the Hulk hopping around. This is actually quite funny if u imagine him to be a giant pikachu nut hopping around excitedly.



1/15 of the show showed slightly exciting stuff, eg fighting. Yawnz.



I was falling asleep as Dr Banner started to boil (yawn, whats new?) some evil concoction. Suddenly my phone vibrated. I took it out, and my sudden movement startled the angmoh siting next to me who was falling asleep as well. I dunno why I am telling u that. But I found it quite funny.



Anyway.

The sms read: "Can I woo you back?"



Eddy. Eddy. Eddy. Eddy. Eddy, I prayed. Oh wait, Eddy wun say cheesy stuff like that.



Sent by: Shui Xiang hp



I almost died on my seat. He had to freak me out with I was most vulnerable from watching a totally sucky show.



The show lasted for 2.5 hours, and by the time I took the last train to Jurong East, there was no bus to take home.



I decided the weather is nice. I walked. Its a 45 minute walking affair, if u are interested to know. Are u interested to know? But nvm, I already said it.



In the process, around 20 taxis who drove by stopped and asked if I wanted a ride.



Can't anyone take a scroll nowadays?!



Then this Indian guy, around 40 yrs old, asked me to get up his bike. Ignored him. He drove on.



And then this truck driver (Malay with a Bangala sitting beside him) wound down his window and whistled. I was talking on the phone to James, so I ignored them.



He stopped the truck a few metres in front of me. I HAD to walk pass his truck later if I wanted to go home. I was quite freaked out at that thought. And the road is very deserted.



Can't anyone take a scroll nowadays?!



I was forced to take a cab from there, so that I wun have to walk pass that freaky truck. The cab fare was $2.90, plus midnight charges. -_- Fucking horny men. I hope they all die.



Anyway, I bought another fake branded bag!







It is supposed to be LV's latest collection, Cherry Blossom, and the imitations can't be found in S'pore. I bought it from Yahoo Auctions at $150.



Today when I went to Orchard to shop, I realised that ALOT of ppl have fake branded bags. I guess I have suddenly reached the age where I start to fall in love with branded stuff all over again (read: since ah lian days) and since I can't afford the real thing (note my bag costs $1,600 I think), get the exact replica then.



I know the reason why so many females buy fake branded stuff. (I'm talking about those late twenties kinda women. And yes, their bags might be real, but I just refuse to believe it.)



Coz when I wear my (fake) LV bag, I feel like her:





When I wear my fake Gucci bag, I feel like her:





Ah, nice pubes. Dun stop me now. NOOooooOOoo! Dun stop me! Hand me the shaver! I am gonna shave my pubes into a LV logo!



Eddy, wanna see? LOL... Eddy nose bleed liao.



Anyway, I really like the bag alot. So far everyone who has seen it said it is ugly, except James, who was being polite of course. Why would men even give a hoot about ladies' bags?



I like it coz it is pink.



I like it coz it has happy flowers on it.





I like it coz it has this lock thingy that comes with a key! So cute!





Xf said my bag looks like a malay drum. She is just jealous. Hmpf.

Lets talk about wealth today.



Its sickening isn't it? Singapore is supposed to be democratic, so it means that everyone has a fair chance to be rich. Thats a whole truckload of bullshit.



Lets see what happens when u are poor, and not smart enough to be a doctor or lawyer etc. How do u get rich?



1) Start ur own business and see if it manages to succeed. Alright. So u start to import a kind of wondeful shampoo to Singapore. It is so wonderful, that it can totally make ur hair be shiny, smooth and soft. It is a tad more expensive coz it is imported though.



Its properties are claimed by YOU. Who would believe u? Who will even HEAR what u have to say about ur product? Ahhh.. Advertisements. Would ppl do your ads for free? No. You have no money. And to get ur product into guardian u already spent the loan from the bank. So no ads.



You can only pray for word of mouth.



Now, in the market for established goods, we can hardly find any where it is the perfect competition model (for those who dun take biz, it means the market share being split into relatively equal bits for alot of sellers). Mostly, there will be this very big MNC who will be barbaricly taking more and more of the market share.



How? Alright. Say in the market for shampoo, we have different needs dun we? Some want shiny. Pantene. Some want saloon style. Vidal Sassoon. Some dun want their dandruff. Head and shoulders. Some want shiny asian hair. Ascend. Some want a mild shampoo which wun hurt eyes. Rejoice.



So Pantene, Vidal Sassoon, H & S, Ascend and Rejoice all have a fair share of the market for their different target audience? Yeah right. They all belong to this disgustingly big company called Procter and Gamble. P & G. I know coz I once worked for them as a shampoo promoter. The building is so disgustingly big, and they are earning so much, that they can afford big plush cushions everywhere and a few playstations laying around for its employees to relax. Relax of course... Money is rolling in, why bother?



P & G not only semi-monopolises the shampoo market. Whisper and Pringles belong to them too. Among other household items.



Alright so attacking into an established market is out. Coz you would only get kicked out in a short while by the giants.



The solution?



2) Invent and sell something new.



The market for the new product is all yours! But problem is, what are the chances that you invent something unique? Actually it is not that difficult. Ppl have just put mushrooms, cheese or bananas on Roti Prata and got famous. I suggest u try putting yummy chicken on Roti Prata. Oh wait, thats murtabuk (dunno how to spell).



Alright. You invent a new product. It sells very well. AHA! Then comes the patenting part. You wun want ppl to copy ur business idea, would u? But patenting is very expensive. So u pray no one will copy you.



U wish. Look at bubble tea stores. All the copycats make them all fail.



In this case, u might want to choose to be the one copying instead. At least u dun need to go and think about inventing something.



3) Work hard ur whole life and hope u can get a senior position in big companies in P & G. Nobody is interested in doing this. It is relatively impossible unless u have had a very good education or is the boss' mistress.



4) Set up a multi layer marketing company. Please note I said SET UP. Not join.



Alright, for the rare few who has not been approached before, lets explain how the system works. It is fairly interesting.







Take note that we are now changing a perspective. Usually MLM is explained using the employee perspective. Now lets look at what the company earns. They always make it sounds as if the company is not earning anything, and wealth is shared among the employees. Hmmm... Lets see.



The company comes out with a cheesy health product, maybe oxygenated water or magnetic beds. Lets just take it that the profit earned from selling the bed is $1000.



The company urges u to join as the $1000 profit will not be split to advertisers, or middlemen, but to YOU. Sounds pretty good. Say outta the $1000 u sell, the company keeps 40% of it. It needs to buy new products and pay rent, it says. Fair enough.



$600 left. This amount of money would be shared among the A to B as stated in the picture.



Most MLMs have 5 layers, like in the picture. Lets call the bottommost layer A (thats the lousiest) to E (the guy who earns the most).



The system works this way. First, when u are just recruited, u are in A. When you help to sell a product by introducing maybe ur auntie to buy a magnetic bed, you earn eg 10 sales points. Your 10 sales points will help u go to level B.



From level B to C, maybe u need 30 sales points. But now, when u are at B, things are getting better! U can actually RECRUIT ppl, and ask them to help u sell! The ppl u recruit will be level A. Say u recruit THREE ppl, and they all manage to sell a bed. Thats 30 sales points ain't it? You can now officially move to C. Sounds easy!



Ppl want to move from A to E coz the commission would be more as u move up, amongst other reasons which u would understand when u read on.



Alright. What happens if u manage to recruit THREE people, but only TWO manage to sell beds? You get 20 sales points. Thats not enough to push u to C. But how about the two level A people whom u recruited and managed to sell 1 bed each? They move up to level B. Thats the same level as you!



If the two fellows u recruited now sell 14 beds each?? Aint that terrific news for you? Nope. Coz they are level B now. They are of the same level as you. So whatever they earn is theirs, since they are no longer under u.



You know only have 1 recruit left, and he does not seem to be able to sell anything. U realise that the system is flawed. You might choose to leave now, or sell 1 more bed urself, and go to level C. But ur 1st two recruits sold 14 beds already, so they are all the way up, no longer under you. U will choose to have more recruits again.



From C to D, u need 100 sales points. So most ppl are stuck somewhere here. Everybody is at level B.



Why is that good for the company?



U see, when someone sells a bed at level B and he is under no one, he earns a commission of say 11% of the profit. The 89% goes to the company. Thats $890 out the $1000 profit for a bed, instead of what the company promises at $400. MLM company owners are filthy rich, coz they got a lot of silly ppl working under them, helping them to sell.



When the level E ppl urge u to join, they always say that the company is very new, so theres plenty of chances for u to go to level E. They dun realise they are slapping themselves. Say a level E guy recruited a guy. He is very capable. He recruited alot of able ppl to work under him, maybe 50 ppl. They all are earning money (which is highly impossible but just a hypothesis), thus effectively pushing him to level D. As the level E guy who recruited this able man, u are very happy coz whatever he earns goes to u as well. Whatever whoever under him sells as well, goes to u. Every bed he sells, u get 14% of the profits.



AHA! The able guy now goes to level E! U lost the link coz he is the same level as you! Now whatever he or his recruits earn, does not belong to u at all. U can jolly well slap urself coz it was u who urged the able guy to sell more at first.



My point is, set up an MLM company. It is a cool invention to suck ppl of their money.



However to set up an MLM company all ur friends will leave u coz they are scared u sell things to them. They will come back when u are rich, of course. But to set up a reputable MLM, u need to have capital first. U dun have money, remember?



5) Marry a rich husband/wife.



Now u know why I work towards that goal. It seems like the easiest way to get rich. See ah, u marry a rich guy/gal, then u try to convince him/her to give u the money to set up an MLM company. And then u get filthy rich urself. If u dun love the guy/gal, u can leave him/her now. He/she is used to ppl making use of his/her money anyway.



After u get filthy rich from the MLM company, u can use ur wealth to buy another Ikea franchise! Ain't it cool that u can get staff discount to buy the furniture to decorate your Ikea outlet! Since the queenstown one is always jammed with ppl, I would suggest opening one at the east. Surely alot of ppl would come. Be sure to make the restaurant bigger though, we all love the meatballs.



Ah, in fact, if a whole Ikea is too expensive, just open a few Ikea restaurants would do too.



Please take note that even if u are the proud owner of an Ikea franchise, it does NOT give u the rights to go around asking ppl "Dong xi zai na li?"



The difficult thing here is, why would the rich guy (from now on it shall be guy coz I lazy to type for the female too) want to marry you?



Which explains why I am so vain.



Digessing a little, I would like to say that the world is very unfair. Eg u are a very rich guy. Would u marry a mediocre (is this how to spell?) gal? No way. There are plenty of gals who will like you. This is not beacuse of the money. It is because of the security you can give to the future family.



Out of the pool of gals, who would u choose to marry? Surely the prettiest and the smartest. Some argue that the 2 cannot exist together.



*points at self.*

*points at Xiao Feng*



There are plenty of smart gals who are pretty as well. And thats sickening.



So the rich guy marries the smart and pretty gal. Together, they form rich, smart and good looking kids.



So if u are a rich, smart and good looking kid, who would u marry?



The vicious cycle goes on. The rich, smart and good looking boys go to ACS, the rich, smart and good looking gals goes to MGS. They cross the love bridge and get together. Oh wait the love bridge is for St Joseph issit? Or what school? Nvm. Some blog readers are a tad too old to understand, heehee.



The smart and good looking boys and gals go to RVHS. They dun get married coz they are friends or classmates for too long.



Anyway my point is that the rich will keep all the good genes in the future. It is not fair! But I want to marry the rich too. Who doesnt? I want to wad in the good gene pool.



In conclusion, the whole chunk of words above suggests that the world will slowly get split up into 2. The rich, and the poor. The rich will remain richer coz they keep marrying the smart and good looking, and the poor will continue being poor unless they somehow turn out good looking. And smart.



I suggest communism before it is too late.