If you could hang out with President Obama, what would you ask him? Would your question be about jobs or unemployment? The threat of nuclear weapons? Immigration reform? Whatever your question is, submit it on YouTube for the opportunity to ask the President directly in a special interview over a Google+ Hangout from the White House.
On Monday, January 30, a few days after delivering his State of the Union address to the nation, President Obama will answer a selection of top-voted questions you’ve submitted in a live-streamed interview. Starting today through January 28, you can visit the White House YouTube channel to submit your video and text questions and vote on your favorites. Your YouTube questions will drive the interview, and several participants with top-voted questions will be selected to join the President in the Google+ Hangout to take part in the conversation live.
So take out your camera, check your hair and go to youtube.com/whitehouse to submit your question now. Need ideas? Visit youtube.com/whitehouse on Tuesday night at 9:00pm ET to watch the President’s State of the Union address live. The address will be followed by the Republican response on Speaker Boehner’s YouTube channel.
Video questions are preferred (though we also accept text) and should be about 20 seconds long. In the video description, be sure to tell us a little bit about yourself, like where you’re from.
Your Interview with President Obama will be streamed live at 5:30pm ET on on January 30 on youtube.com/whitehouse. You have until midnight ET on January 28 to submit your question and make your voice heard on the issues that matter to you.
(Cross-posted from the YouTube blog)
Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 1, 2012
Thứ Sáu, 20 tháng 1, 2012
Jagriti Yatra: a journey of entrepreneurship through India
As part of our ongoing commitment to entrepreneurship around the world, we recently took part in a worthy experiment crisscrossing India. Jagriti Yatra is an annual train journey that takes more than 400 of India's highly motivated youth (ages 20-26) on an 15-day trip to introduce them to India’s challenges, and to the individuals and institutions that are developing unique solutions to those challenges. The goal is to inspire these young people to develop and lead social and economic entrepreneurship in their own communities. Each year, around 50 experienced professionals also join the Yatra to serve as mentors, and this year, I—along with four other Googlers—went along for the ride.
This year’s “yatris” (participants) came from all four corners of the country—rich states and poor states, urban, semi-urban and rural. A large portion came from low-income rural families, and many of them (especially the women) had fought great odds to get a good education. Now, they wanted to give back to their communities.
The trip, which began in Mumbai on December 25 and returned on January 8, covered 8,500 kilometers and made 12 stops in a route that circumnavigated the entire country. Our days began at 5:30am and ended at 11:30pm, and the majority of time was spent pounding the pavement, from villages in Orissa and Uttar Pradesh to the suburbs of Madurai and Patna.
These visits brought us face-to-face with India’s major challenges. Confronted with the stark reality of youth abandoning their farming traditions, vast open-air garbage dumps in town centers, girls dropping out of school after eighth grade and unemployed undergraduates scrounging money to bribe their way into government jobs, the yatris were even more motivated to become agents of change in their country. The Yatra has led to a diverse range of startups, both planned and pre-existing—for example, I spoke with participants taking up organic farming in their villages, and to others who were inspired to establish career mentoring programs in their communities.
As first-time sponsors of this year's Yatra (which focused specifically on issues in healthcare, agribusiness, water and energy) we provided not only financial support, but also WiFi for the train journey and an SMS channel for Jagriti Yatra followers to get updates on the Yatra over SMS. We also helped set up the organization with a YouTube channel and a Google+ page so they could chronicle and share their journey with the wider world.
Throughout, the energy of the group was incredible; everyone was infused with the feeling that all things are possible if you persist. Jagriti Yatra has become the event for college students and would-be young entrepreneurs to participate in (this year, the organization received 3,200 applications for less than 500 spots). It was great to see so many young people focused on making a positive impact on society through entrepreneurship.
For more personal stories from the journey, visit the Jagriti Yatra Google+ page. To register for next year’s journey, visit Jagriti Yatra’s registration page.
Posted by Adhi Kesarla, Principal, New Business Development
This year’s “yatris” (participants) came from all four corners of the country—rich states and poor states, urban, semi-urban and rural. A large portion came from low-income rural families, and many of them (especially the women) had fought great odds to get a good education. Now, they wanted to give back to their communities.
The trip, which began in Mumbai on December 25 and returned on January 8, covered 8,500 kilometers and made 12 stops in a route that circumnavigated the entire country. Our days began at 5:30am and ended at 11:30pm, and the majority of time was spent pounding the pavement, from villages in Orissa and Uttar Pradesh to the suburbs of Madurai and Patna.
These visits brought us face-to-face with India’s major challenges. Confronted with the stark reality of youth abandoning their farming traditions, vast open-air garbage dumps in town centers, girls dropping out of school after eighth grade and unemployed undergraduates scrounging money to bribe their way into government jobs, the yatris were even more motivated to become agents of change in their country. The Yatra has led to a diverse range of startups, both planned and pre-existing—for example, I spoke with participants taking up organic farming in their villages, and to others who were inspired to establish career mentoring programs in their communities.
As first-time sponsors of this year's Yatra (which focused specifically on issues in healthcare, agribusiness, water and energy) we provided not only financial support, but also WiFi for the train journey and an SMS channel for Jagriti Yatra followers to get updates on the Yatra over SMS. We also helped set up the organization with a YouTube channel and a Google+ page so they could chronicle and share their journey with the wider world.
Throughout, the energy of the group was incredible; everyone was infused with the feeling that all things are possible if you persist. Jagriti Yatra has become the event for college students and would-be young entrepreneurs to participate in (this year, the organization received 3,200 applications for less than 500 spots). It was great to see so many young people focused on making a positive impact on society through entrepreneurship.
For more personal stories from the journey, visit the Jagriti Yatra Google+ page. To register for next year’s journey, visit Jagriti Yatra’s registration page.
Posted by Adhi Kesarla, Principal, New Business Development
Renewing old resolutions for the new year
As we head into 2012, we’ve been sticking to some old resolutions—the need to focus on building amazing products that millions of people love to use every day. That means taking a hard look at products that replicate other features, haven’t achieved the promise we had hoped for or can’t be properly integrated into the overall Google experience.
Here’s an update on some products that will be merged, open-sourced, or phased out in the coming months:
Posted by Dave Girouard, VP of Product Management
Here’s an update on some products that will be merged, open-sourced, or phased out in the coming months:
- Google Message Continuity (GMC): In December 2010 we launched an email disaster recovery product for enterprise customers that use Google's cloud to back up emails originally sent or received in an on-premise, Microsoft Exchange system. In the time since we launched, we've seen hundreds of businesses sign up for it. By comparison, in that same time, we've seen millions of businesses move entirely to the cloud with Google Apps, benefitting from disaster recovery capabilities built directly into Apps. Going forward we've decided to focus our efforts on Google Apps and end support for GMC. Current GMC customers will be able to use GMC for the duration of their contract and are encouraged to consider using Google Apps as their primary messaging and collaboration platform.
- Google Sky Map: This app was created by half a dozen Googlers at the Pittsburgh office in their 20 percent time to show off the amazing capabilities of the sensors in the first-generation Android phones and offer a window into the sky. Since we launched the tool in 2009, we have managed to share our passion with more than 20 million Android users. We will be open-sourcing Sky Map and are collaborating with Carnegie Mellon University in a partnership that will see further development of Sky Map as a series of student projects.
- Needlebase: We are retiring this data management platform, which we acquired from ITA Software, on June 1, 2012. The technology is being evaluated for integration into Google's other data-related initiatives.
- Picnik: We acquired this online photo editor in 2010. We’re retiring the service on April 19, 2012 so the Picnik team can continue creating photo-editing magic across Google products. You can download a zip file of your creations through Picnik Takeout or copy them to Google+. As of now, the premium service is free to everyone. Premium members will receive a full refund in the coming weeks.
- Social Graph API: This API makes information about the public connections between people on the web available for developers. The API isn’t experiencing the kind of adoption we’d like, and is being deprecated as of today. It will be fully retired on April 20, 2012.
- Urchin: In 2005 we acquired Urchin, whose online web analytics product became the foundation for Google Analytics, helping businesses of all sizes measure their websites and online marketing. We’re fully committed to building an industry-leading online analytics product, so we’re saying goodbye to the client-hosted version, known as Urchin Software. New Urchin Software licenses will no longer be available after March 2012.
Posted by Dave Girouard, VP of Product Management
Thứ Năm, 19 tháng 1, 2012
Data Journalism Awards now accepting submissions
Last November, we announced our support for a new Data Journalism competition, organized by the Global Editors Network. The competition is now open to submissions and today we hosted an event at our offices in London to share details on how to compete and win a total of six prizes worth EUR 45,000. The European Journalism Centre is running the contest and Google is sponsoring.
Journalism is going through an exciting—if sometimes wrenching—transition from off to online. Google is keen to help. We see exciting possibilities of leveraging data to produce award-winning journalism. “Data journalism is a new, exciting part of the media industry, with at present only a small number of practitioners,” said Peter Barron, Google’s Director of External Relations. “We hope to see the number grow.”
In data journalism, reporters leverage numerical data and databases to gather, organize and produce news. Bertrand Pecquerie, the Global Editor Network’s CEO, believes the use of data will, in particular, revolutionize investigative reporting. “We are convinced that there is a bright future for journalism,” he said at the London event. “This is not just about developing new hardware like tablets. It is above all about producing exciting new content.”
The European Journalism Centre, a non-profit based in Maastricht, has been running data training workshops for several years. It is producing the Data Journalism Awards website and administering the prize. “This new initiative should help convince editors around the world that data journalism is not a crazy idea, but a viable part of the industry,” says Wilfried Ruetten, Director of the center.
Projects should be submitted to http://www.datajournalismawards.org. The deadline is April 10, 2012. Entries should have been published or aired between April 11, 2011 and April 10, 2012. Media companies, non-profit organisations, freelancers and individuals are eligible.
Submissions are welcomed in three categories: data-driven investigative journalism, data-driven applications and data visualisation and storytelling. National and international projects will be judged separately from local and regional ones. “We wanted to encourage not only the New York Times’s of the world to participate, but media outlets of all sizes,” says Pecquerie. “Journalism students are also invited to enter, provided their work has been published.”
An all-star jury has been assembled of journalists from prestigious international media companies including the New York Times, the Guardian and Les Echos. Paul Steiger, the former editor-in-chief of the Wall Street Journal and founder of the Pulitzer Prize-winning ProPublica, will serve as president.
Winners will be announced at the Global News Network’s World Summit in Paris on May 31, 2012.
Posted by William Echikson, External Relations
(Cross-posted from the European Public Policy Blog)
Journalism is going through an exciting—if sometimes wrenching—transition from off to online. Google is keen to help. We see exciting possibilities of leveraging data to produce award-winning journalism. “Data journalism is a new, exciting part of the media industry, with at present only a small number of practitioners,” said Peter Barron, Google’s Director of External Relations. “We hope to see the number grow.”
In data journalism, reporters leverage numerical data and databases to gather, organize and produce news. Bertrand Pecquerie, the Global Editor Network’s CEO, believes the use of data will, in particular, revolutionize investigative reporting. “We are convinced that there is a bright future for journalism,” he said at the London event. “This is not just about developing new hardware like tablets. It is above all about producing exciting new content.”
The European Journalism Centre, a non-profit based in Maastricht, has been running data training workshops for several years. It is producing the Data Journalism Awards website and administering the prize. “This new initiative should help convince editors around the world that data journalism is not a crazy idea, but a viable part of the industry,” says Wilfried Ruetten, Director of the center.
Projects should be submitted to http://www.datajournalismawards.org. The deadline is April 10, 2012. Entries should have been published or aired between April 11, 2011 and April 10, 2012. Media companies, non-profit organisations, freelancers and individuals are eligible.
Submissions are welcomed in three categories: data-driven investigative journalism, data-driven applications and data visualisation and storytelling. National and international projects will be judged separately from local and regional ones. “We wanted to encourage not only the New York Times’s of the world to participate, but media outlets of all sizes,” says Pecquerie. “Journalism students are also invited to enter, provided their work has been published.”
An all-star jury has been assembled of journalists from prestigious international media companies including the New York Times, the Guardian and Les Echos. Paul Steiger, the former editor-in-chief of the Wall Street Journal and founder of the Pulitzer Prize-winning ProPublica, will serve as president.
Winners will be announced at the Global News Network’s World Summit in Paris on May 31, 2012.
Posted by William Echikson, External Relations
(Cross-posted from the European Public Policy Blog)
Keeping our environmental management and workplace safety standards high
For the last year, our data center team has been working on a project to bring our facilities to even higher standards for environmental management and workforce safety. Recently we got the good news that our work paid off.
All of our U.S. owned and operated data centers have received ISO 14001 and OHSAS 18001 certification. We’re the first major Internet services company to gain external certification for those high standards at all of our U.S. data centers.
In a nutshell, both standards are built around a very simple concept: Say what you’re going to do, then do what you say—and then keep improving. The standards say what key elements are required, but not how to do it—that part’s up to us. So we set some challenging goals for ourselves, and we asked our auditors to confirm that we’ve followed through on them.
Here’s an example of the kind of improvements we’ve implemented: Like most data centers, ours have emergency backup generators on hand to keep things up and running in case of a power outage. To reduce the environmental impact of these generators, we’ve done two things: first, we minimized the amount of run time and need for maintenance of those generators. Second, we worked with the oil and generator manufacturers to extend the lifetime between oil changes. So far we’ve managed to reduce our oil consumption in those generators by 67 percent.
A second example: each of our servers in the data center has a battery on board to eliminate any interruptions to our power supply. To ensure the safety of the environment and our workers, we devised a system to make sure we handle, package, ship and recycle every single battery properly.
These are just two elements of what ultimately adds up to a comprehensive system of policies that our data center teams follow in their day-to-day operations. We do this because we want to be the gold standard in environmental and workforce safety, and because we care about the communities where we live and work. This is one more reason you can feel confident that when you're using our products, you're making an environmentally responsible choice.
Our data centers in the following U.S. locations have received this dual certification. We plan to pursue certification in our European data centers as well.
All of our U.S. owned and operated data centers have received ISO 14001 and OHSAS 18001 certification. We’re the first major Internet services company to gain external certification for those high standards at all of our U.S. data centers.
In a nutshell, both standards are built around a very simple concept: Say what you’re going to do, then do what you say—and then keep improving. The standards say what key elements are required, but not how to do it—that part’s up to us. So we set some challenging goals for ourselves, and we asked our auditors to confirm that we’ve followed through on them.
Here’s an example of the kind of improvements we’ve implemented: Like most data centers, ours have emergency backup generators on hand to keep things up and running in case of a power outage. To reduce the environmental impact of these generators, we’ve done two things: first, we minimized the amount of run time and need for maintenance of those generators. Second, we worked with the oil and generator manufacturers to extend the lifetime between oil changes. So far we’ve managed to reduce our oil consumption in those generators by 67 percent.
A second example: each of our servers in the data center has a battery on board to eliminate any interruptions to our power supply. To ensure the safety of the environment and our workers, we devised a system to make sure we handle, package, ship and recycle every single battery properly.
These are just two elements of what ultimately adds up to a comprehensive system of policies that our data center teams follow in their day-to-day operations. We do this because we want to be the gold standard in environmental and workforce safety, and because we care about the communities where we live and work. This is one more reason you can feel confident that when you're using our products, you're making an environmentally responsible choice.
Our data centers in the following U.S. locations have received this dual certification. We plan to pursue certification in our European data centers as well.
- The Dalles, Ore.
- Council Bluffs, Iowa
- Mayes County, Okla.
- Lenoir, N.C.
- Monck’s Corner, S.C.
- Douglas County, Ga.
Thứ Ba, 13 tháng 4, 2004
Singtel blog competition, dated 10 March 2004
Recently a lot of things have been pissing me off. I need to complain. So here goes.
I hate the rain. It has been raining for the past 11 years or so. Non-stop. My jeans are soaked, my clothes are soaked, and I have to get onto the bus which subsequently freezed the little water droplets on me to become ice. When I get frozen (and a little blue even) and I can't move, the bus driver goes "eh, eh, never pay money ah?!" and I feel like slapping him, except I can't, because I am all brittle and frozen remember? Can't he see that I am frozen?! DUH??!
Just coz he is dry and cozy in his bus doesn't mean that I am too ok?! DUH?!
When I manage to get my hardened limbs onto a seat, I start to think I am very lucky because afterall I am not in Pakistan having female circumcision. BUT I AM WRONG! BOY AM I WRONG!
I am haunted by stupid animations on TV Mobile!!!
Apparently the amateur animations done by the NYP students are being boardcast OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And again. And again. Its okie if it looks like it is done by baboons. Afterall they are just students (as if thats even a valid excuse).
But WHY? Why must they use stupid themes for their animations??!
For example, I saw this one which has this little girl sitting on a swing. She carries a brown teddy bear, and looks all rainbows and cotton candy. I expected pink bunny slippers but I suppose thats difficult to animate. I mean, should the ears flow with the swing, or against? Tough.
So anyway, this little girl's swinging happily, and suddenly, a giant hand whips out of nowhere. The music is so sucky that I fell asleep at this point of time, so I shall just bullshit that I saw what happens next.
The giant hand turned from a giant hand to a gay blue amoeba and called itself Qoo. It has a little phallic blue thing on its head as well, wonder what it is used for. Qoo started to push the little girl on the swing.. The little girl giggled happily.
Qoo smiled. Qoo smiled MORE. He started to get violent and push the girl so hard that her back broke. Qoo laughed wickedly and suddenly (from this point I woke up so the following is true) the little girl is missing and (make a wild guess!) the swing was left swinging alone with the fluffy teddy bear, looking rather forlorn.
I was thinking what this crap could be about... Could it be.. Selling swings which makes irritating kids disappear? That would be good.. Or teddy bears who eat up children and hallucinate that giant hands did it?
Well, the text came up at this point of time:
- STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE -
DUH. Seriously. Whats the point?!!!
When the students came up with such a dumb theme, did they think:
Duh. If child rapists would stop raping, it is definitely not because they saw a sucky animation. These people are CRAZY (referring to the rapists). If logic and reason could get into them, surely they would not have started child sexual abuse.
If the producers were thinking that through the animation maybe a little sympathy could seep into the rapists' hearts, then surely the child's screams and blood would have done that long ago.
Alright then here is my lame attempt to stop child sexual abuse too:
To all the rapists and molesters out there, do you know you are traumatizing the kids and making them scarred for the rest of their miserable lives so can you please stop it.
There. Done.
I saw another animation of car etiquette. While it is pretty entertaining, it is nothing original. I saw another version of it done by someone else before. Doh.
Oh I got to get back to work, dammit. Gotta write up an article on why Disney On Ice is the best family entertainment ever. Will blog more tonight...
One last time. I discovered another thing that pisses me off. When I tell people I work for TODAY, guess whats their reply?!
"I work for yesterday."
Yeah right, I get that f*cking answer fifty times a day, can't you come up with something even more cliched?! Eh? Eh?!
Recently a lot of things have been pissing me off. I need to complain. So here goes.
I hate the rain. It has been raining for the past 11 years or so. Non-stop. My jeans are soaked, my clothes are soaked, and I have to get onto the bus which subsequently freezed the little water droplets on me to become ice. When I get frozen (and a little blue even) and I can't move, the bus driver goes "eh, eh, never pay money ah?!" and I feel like slapping him, except I can't, because I am all brittle and frozen remember? Can't he see that I am frozen?! DUH??!
Just coz he is dry and cozy in his bus doesn't mean that I am too ok?! DUH?!
When I manage to get my hardened limbs onto a seat, I start to think I am very lucky because afterall I am not in Pakistan having female circumcision. BUT I AM WRONG! BOY AM I WRONG!
I am haunted by stupid animations on TV Mobile!!!
Apparently the amateur animations done by the NYP students are being boardcast OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And again. And again. Its okie if it looks like it is done by baboons. Afterall they are just students (as if thats even a valid excuse).
But WHY? Why must they use stupid themes for their animations??!
For example, I saw this one which has this little girl sitting on a swing. She carries a brown teddy bear, and looks all rainbows and cotton candy. I expected pink bunny slippers but I suppose thats difficult to animate. I mean, should the ears flow with the swing, or against? Tough.
So anyway, this little girl's swinging happily, and suddenly, a giant hand whips out of nowhere. The music is so sucky that I fell asleep at this point of time, so I shall just bullshit that I saw what happens next.
The giant hand turned from a giant hand to a gay blue amoeba and called itself Qoo. It has a little phallic blue thing on its head as well, wonder what it is used for. Qoo started to push the little girl on the swing.. The little girl giggled happily.
Qoo smiled. Qoo smiled MORE. He started to get violent and push the girl so hard that her back broke. Qoo laughed wickedly and suddenly (from this point I woke up so the following is true) the little girl is missing and (make a wild guess!) the swing was left swinging alone with the fluffy teddy bear, looking rather forlorn.
I was thinking what this crap could be about... Could it be.. Selling swings which makes irritating kids disappear? That would be good.. Or teddy bears who eat up children and hallucinate that giant hands did it?
Well, the text came up at this point of time:
- STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE -
DUH. Seriously. Whats the point?!!!
When the students came up with such a dumb theme, did they think:
"Oh.. I think I shall ask people to stop child sexual abuse. Perverts who molest their kids would go on the bus, see my animation, and decide that it is wrong to molest children, because oh look..! they will lose their childhood innocence and not play with swings anymore!"
Duh. If child rapists would stop raping, it is definitely not because they saw a sucky animation. These people are CRAZY (referring to the rapists). If logic and reason could get into them, surely they would not have started child sexual abuse.
If the producers were thinking that through the animation maybe a little sympathy could seep into the rapists' hearts, then surely the child's screams and blood would have done that long ago.
Alright then here is my lame attempt to stop child sexual abuse too:
To all the rapists and molesters out there, do you know you are traumatizing the kids and making them scarred for the rest of their miserable lives so can you please stop it.
There. Done.
I saw another animation of car etiquette. While it is pretty entertaining, it is nothing original. I saw another version of it done by someone else before. Doh.
Oh I got to get back to work, dammit. Gotta write up an article on why Disney On Ice is the best family entertainment ever. Will blog more tonight...
One last time. I discovered another thing that pisses me off. When I tell people I work for TODAY, guess whats their reply?!
"I work for yesterday."
Yeah right, I get that f*cking answer fifty times a day, can't you come up with something even more cliched?! Eh? Eh?!
Singtel blog competition entry, dated 4 March 2004
Bah humbug!!! (don't you think bah humbug sounds damn funny??!)
I was at the main dreamd8 website just now, and I was greeted with a nice picture of MisirLou urging people to read her blog and a nice quote.
Wow chio sia, I thought. I would definitely have clicked on her. I want my picture up there too!
Later on, I went back to the site and saw BEN LOY! Which is quikquiksilver la. "Yikes monster!" I thought to myself, and then I realise its him and of course, friends shouldn't judge each other's ugly looks.
Ok I'm kidding. If you ask me, Ben's really quite cute. His features are nice, except for a little of the buckteeth which is quite adorable actually, unless you end up kissing that kangkong stuck there for 3 weeks. I was too polite to tell him.
I don't see why stupid Ben always has to say he is not cute. Which is like coming true, because his UGLIEST photo EVER wait let me make that word bold and big EVER is shown to the whole wide world (my world revolves around my life so yeah) BECAUSE the nutcase chose it amongst other putlizer-award-winning ones like the one he has on his blog currently!! (I did the cropping, and I think its really artistic. If you don't see it you are one of those people who are just not *snap finger and screw up face*)
Trust me, he is really quite cute. AND he has a sense of humour, which many many people lack. Those are sad sad people, I tell you. Ben possesses the ability to laugh at himself, a rare gift.
Maybe I am fooled. Maybe when he says stuff like, "I may not have the looks (and he snorts, as if he believes it), but I make do with it.", he is merely trying to get you to say that "no la... you quite cute what...".
That will surely make his day. I can imagine him saying, "Excuse me." in a straight face and then going to the toilet and go "Yes, yes yes! She said I am cute!" while punching his fist in the air until some uncle comes out of the cubicle and say he siao.
Shit. Why the digressing.
Back to the point of Singtel being a big cheatabug.
See MisirLou + Then see ben = Misirlou become Ben. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!!!! EERIE THOUGHT!!! MISIRLOUISH BEN!!!! BENNISH MISIRLOU Hell NOOooooo!
oh. Actually not la. Coz the thing changes with eveyr refresh, right?
So very naturally, I refreshed it to see if its me next man!!!
WTF. Erised. F5. Erised. F5 Erised. F5 MisirLou. F5. Monster. F5. Monster. hey its Ben actually. F5 Erised. F5. Zonda. F5 Zonda. F5 Hell no still Zonda. F5 (guess who??!) ERISED AGAIN!!!
Thus, I continued pressing F5 time and again until the F5 key in my office fell off. I was horrified. I looked at the keyboard, and thought to myself that it is very unlucky of me.
Should I have pressed "a" and "a" dropped off, it would be ok coz a is among other alphabets and nobody notices it being missing. But I spoilt F5 (coz Singtel is a cheatabug) and it is between F4 (WAHAHAHA) and F6 so people can surely see that it is missing! I mean, 4, _ , 6?? Fill in the blank!
So anyway. Amongst the 18326 times I pressed refresh, Erised came up 18965 times and zonda 729 times and Ben 629 times. The rest is quite negligible.
Just when I was about to kill myself I pressed refresh again and the sight that greeted me made me fall backwards off my chair and because I am so fat, I cannot get up. I can't roll over either coz I am so fat, that if I roll over two times, I will end up at Batam (thats not original btw).
I was quite traumatized and I asked my colleagues to help me up. She tried to, but broke her arm in the process. The blood soaked my good hair day up. Another colleague told me to just stay there and try to sleep, but I told her I need to blog that Singtel is a big cheatabug.
So, after an hour or so, they hung the monitor and keyboard to the ceiling so that I can blog while lying down. I am very scared now that the monitor falls and smashes my head. I wonder who will scoop up my brains.
Oh yeah that day I was talking to June and Clara and we were wondering if a motorcyclist gets decapitated in his helmut, who will do the job of digging the head out?
Ok back to why I even fell backwards off my chair. It is a revolving chair, can you imagine how scary the picture is?!
IT IS ME!!! Its damn ugly! They made my head more than twice the size of say, Janice's who has nice white flowers around her!!!
HELLO??!! BIGGER PLEASE?? I AM SHOOTING A NO-MORE-PORES advertisement?!!
Damn ugly la! Cannot stand it. Why can't they put the picture of my boobs? Enlarged and double enlarged?! Doh??!
And why the queer quote of me wanting to slap those girls?! (if you are trying to read it by refreshing you will end up like me and having Erised's face imprinted onto your brains.)
I thought of a consolation for myself.
If say Singtel, by an unlikely chance, is not taking bribes from Erised to have her pic up there 18936 times, then perhaps every contestant has a same number of views, and since I keep seeing Erised, then no one else can see Erised.
Which also means that somebody else may be seeing me, me, me and me! Which is not a good thing coz my quote is gross, and my picture is too big! DUH!
Doesn't matter. In conclusion, I should have done that bj for the Singtel guy when he asked for it. KIDDING KIDDING.
But Singtel is a big cheatabug. Yet, it has the best network coverage in Singapore and the friendliest services and the best deals for phones. I love it down to the core of the orange, i mean, red umbrella!!
Singtel rules! Lee Hsien Yang is my dreamd8!!
Enough crap. Shall get outta my office now. Nights all!!
Bah humbug!!! (don't you think bah humbug sounds damn funny??!)
I was at the main dreamd8 website just now, and I was greeted with a nice picture of MisirLou urging people to read her blog and a nice quote.
Wow chio sia, I thought. I would definitely have clicked on her. I want my picture up there too!
Later on, I went back to the site and saw BEN LOY! Which is quikquiksilver la. "Yikes monster!" I thought to myself, and then I realise its him and of course, friends shouldn't judge each other's ugly looks.
Ok I'm kidding. If you ask me, Ben's really quite cute. His features are nice, except for a little of the buckteeth which is quite adorable actually, unless you end up kissing that kangkong stuck there for 3 weeks. I was too polite to tell him.
I don't see why stupid Ben always has to say he is not cute. Which is like coming true, because his UGLIEST photo EVER wait let me make that word bold and big EVER is shown to the whole wide world (my world revolves around my life so yeah) BECAUSE the nutcase chose it amongst other putlizer-award-winning ones like the one he has on his blog currently!! (I did the cropping, and I think its really artistic. If you don't see it you are one of those people who are just not *snap finger and screw up face*)
Trust me, he is really quite cute. AND he has a sense of humour, which many many people lack. Those are sad sad people, I tell you. Ben possesses the ability to laugh at himself, a rare gift.
Maybe I am fooled. Maybe when he says stuff like, "I may not have the looks (and he snorts, as if he believes it), but I make do with it.", he is merely trying to get you to say that "no la... you quite cute what...".
That will surely make his day. I can imagine him saying, "Excuse me." in a straight face and then going to the toilet and go "Yes, yes yes! She said I am cute!" while punching his fist in the air until some uncle comes out of the cubicle and say he siao.
Shit. Why the digressing.
Back to the point of Singtel being a big cheatabug.
See MisirLou + Then see ben = Misirlou become Ben. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!!!! EERIE THOUGHT!!! MISIRLOUISH BEN!!!! BENNISH MISIRLOU Hell NOOooooo!
oh. Actually not la. Coz the thing changes with eveyr refresh, right?
So very naturally, I refreshed it to see if its me next man!!!
WTF. Erised. F5. Erised. F5 Erised. F5 MisirLou. F5. Monster. F5. Monster. hey its Ben actually. F5 Erised. F5. Zonda. F5 Zonda. F5 Hell no still Zonda. F5 (guess who??!) ERISED AGAIN!!!
Thus, I continued pressing F5 time and again until the F5 key in my office fell off. I was horrified. I looked at the keyboard, and thought to myself that it is very unlucky of me.
Should I have pressed "a" and "a" dropped off, it would be ok coz a is among other alphabets and nobody notices it being missing. But I spoilt F5 (coz Singtel is a cheatabug) and it is between F4 (WAHAHAHA) and F6 so people can surely see that it is missing! I mean, 4, _ , 6?? Fill in the blank!
So anyway. Amongst the 18326 times I pressed refresh, Erised came up 18965 times and zonda 729 times and Ben 629 times. The rest is quite negligible.
Just when I was about to kill myself I pressed refresh again and the sight that greeted me made me fall backwards off my chair and because I am so fat, I cannot get up. I can't roll over either coz I am so fat, that if I roll over two times, I will end up at Batam (thats not original btw).
I was quite traumatized and I asked my colleagues to help me up. She tried to, but broke her arm in the process. The blood soaked my good hair day up. Another colleague told me to just stay there and try to sleep, but I told her I need to blog that Singtel is a big cheatabug.
So, after an hour or so, they hung the monitor and keyboard to the ceiling so that I can blog while lying down. I am very scared now that the monitor falls and smashes my head. I wonder who will scoop up my brains.
Oh yeah that day I was talking to June and Clara and we were wondering if a motorcyclist gets decapitated in his helmut, who will do the job of digging the head out?
Ok back to why I even fell backwards off my chair. It is a revolving chair, can you imagine how scary the picture is?!
IT IS ME!!! Its damn ugly! They made my head more than twice the size of say, Janice's who has nice white flowers around her!!!
HELLO??!! BIGGER PLEASE?? I AM SHOOTING A NO-MORE-PORES advertisement?!!
Damn ugly la! Cannot stand it. Why can't they put the picture of my boobs? Enlarged and double enlarged?! Doh??!
And why the queer quote of me wanting to slap those girls?! (if you are trying to read it by refreshing you will end up like me and having Erised's face imprinted onto your brains.)
I thought of a consolation for myself.
If say Singtel, by an unlikely chance, is not taking bribes from Erised to have her pic up there 18936 times, then perhaps every contestant has a same number of views, and since I keep seeing Erised, then no one else can see Erised.
Which also means that somebody else may be seeing me, me, me and me! Which is not a good thing coz my quote is gross, and my picture is too big! DUH!
Doesn't matter. In conclusion, I should have done that bj for the Singtel guy when he asked for it. KIDDING KIDDING.
But Singtel is a big cheatabug. Yet, it has the best network coverage in Singapore and the friendliest services and the best deals for phones. I love it down to the core of the orange, i mean, red umbrella!!
Singtel rules! Lee Hsien Yang is my dreamd8!!
Enough crap. Shall get outta my office now. Nights all!!
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